The Batlord

I ain't got no witty comeback. This is the longest I've ever held down a job and the same context of being around people I have no social connection with year after year just drives home deeper and deeper that I have no place in their society and can never be a part of any of their lives so all I do is just show up day after day for no reason than to collect a paycheck so I can buy stuff that will hopefully make me happy.

It's been like this my whole life. I'm always on the outside watching people have interactions that don't make sense to me and so I can only treat my interactions with them as a parody of their interactions but nobody gets the joke cause they're too deep in their lives to see how ridiculous they all look to me.

It's ****ing tiresome.

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YorkeDaddy

This is why you should get out of your comfort zone and try finding something else. Even if it’s just applying to a different restaurant. A change of scenery can be a powerful thing

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The Batlord

To do what? To do ****ing what? This is my life. I don't fit in anywhere in any social structure I've ever been a part of and I can't bring myself to care anymore. Am I going to get a better job and be a middle-aged outcast who doesn't relate to anyone in a new place? Is that supposed to motivate me? I've been waiting till I was ready to kill myself since I was in middle school and I don't see a "change of scenery" making a whole lot of difference.

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Marie Monday

You're absolutely right about society being **** and throwing aside people who don't fit in, but you shouldn't give up on finding people to connect with. **** social structures, you don't need to fit in with one, you just need to find one or two other weirdos that you connect with. And there exists no magical place full of people like that, but you can find great people hidden anywhere (although you might have more luck in a big city than a small town). Just keep looking for them

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jwb

I sorta relate to what yd is saying

I'm reluctant to comment given the history of this discussion between us

But i also think switching things up a bit is worth trying

That's not a guarantee you'll be happy on the other side of the transition. Just in my experience when I get in a rut either I make an impulsive decision that changes the scenery or eventually **** catches up to me and I'm forced to make one... And in either case it usually provides at least some insight and positive motivation to move forward.. Much more than doing the same old same old.

The Batlord

You know I was on the honor roll in elementary school. A's and B's all day. But I was an anti-social weirdo who couldn't fit into my classmates' social structures and who acted out and made life hard for my teachers. You know where they stuck my smart, achieving ass? With the retards. From 3rd grade to 8th grade they stuck me with kids so developmentally challenged they had to be taught two, three years at least behind the rest of their grade just to keep them in the system so they wouldn't drag down graduation rates. Me and a bunch of other kids who weren't dumb but just autistic or bi-polar or whatever got treated like mental defectives just to keep us away from the kids who the teachers thought had an actual future. Abandoned.

You wonder why I bring up the Holocaust to talk about modern society? It's because I know that society will toss aside those who do not fit without a second thought like garbage. And the worst part is that they're not even necessarily wrong. My school system was never going to help me. They didn't know what I was and even if they did they wouldn't know the first thing about my paradigm cause we're so far off that we might as well be a different species.

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OccultHawk

We’re you labeled or diagnosed with Oppositional Defiant Disorder?

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YorkeDaddy

You mock this point yet you’re in college which is some real hypocritical BS

? You fit in on MusicBanter obviously, does this place not represent a social structure?

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The Batlord

I think it's you who doesn't get the implication. Besides. This is an internet forum. It doesn't matter. It doesn't represent real world socialization.

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YorkeDaddy

It represents it to an extent. We are quite different in a lot of ways but I have a hard time believing you and I wouldn’t have a good time irl if we sat down with a beer and chatted about comics and games and ****, it’s apparent from your posts that you are both passionate and knowledgeable in both areas...and I think it goes without saying that there are millions of people who identify most of their personality around those two hobbies as well. Maybe you’re just not meeting the right people?

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