The Joyous Day Approaches!
 

I don't have to remind you, I'm sure, but it's that time of year again, when we celebrate the birth of one whose contribution to the world cannot be overstated, and beside whom we are but tiny insects. Of course, December 25 is known globally, and rightfully as

THE FESTIVAL OF CHAD
https://www.famousbirthdays.com/face...chad-image.jpg

Some ignorant people still call it Christmas, but they are unenlightened unbelievers, and will one day, we all pray, come into the light and glory of Chad.

It is of course impossible to relate the many ways in which Chad has changed and influenced this world. We all know He created music, single-handedly defeated Hitler, brokered a peace deal between Israel and Palestine (the fact that it did not last is not His fault, and is only further proof, were any needed, that both of these countries have yet to come into the full glory of Chad, may they one day be so blessed as to do so) and saved both Futurama and Family Guy from cancellation. This last has created some controversy among His followers, and some have held the almost heretical belief that Chad may have been wrong (:yikes:) not to have let Family Guy die, but as He did so quoth Himself with His Own Blessed Lips: "Seth doth have more wisdom and satire to impart to us." We may not agree, but we, His faithful Children, will not doubt the sacred Word of Chad.

So tell us brothers and sisters, how has the mighty Chad affected your life? Of course, he has impacted upon us all in some way, if only through His Mighty Presence, but do please relate your stories of how His Word saved you from addiction, homelessness, despair or the other evils in this life. Or how His influence helped you land that job, or finish that novel, or ask out the woman you now call your wife.

Testify, brothers and sisters! For it will soon be Chad Day, and we must all glory in His name!

May Chad bless you all.
Amen.

And cursed be those unbelievers who demand their nickelback!

You must come into the light of Chad, my son. There is more to life than punk, sulking and feeling sorry for yourself. Let Chad help you. Let his glory surround you and bathe you in its, um, glory.

I like him better when he was in Chad & Jeremy. I think loosing the glasses was a good career move too.

Chad and Jeremy - A Summer Song

Look at this phonograph
Every time I use it plays a track

Okay I'm over this bit

Fly, Lenscrafters, fly!

Unassailable.

https://www.usnews.com/dims4/USNEWS/...128recount.jpg

Don't leave me hangin.

Brah.

I plan on naming all of my children "Chad". Regardless of the sex of the baby, they will be named Chad. Chad 1, Chad 2, Chad 3, all the way on top hopefully at least 20 Chads. Hopefully that will please the almighty Chad

George Foreman approves.

How can you make a Chad with a chode?

Chad bless you my son! May the glorious light of His Chadness shine down upon you, and may you become a Rock Star. Chad be upon you.

You're skipping steps. Step skipper.
Step 1. Find a man to impregnate you, or find a women who will let you touch her, or spawn asexually - whichever applies.
Step 2. Name your all your kids Chad.

Step 1 is already covered, how dare you question my devotion to Chad

Have you not yet come into the glory of Chad, my son? Let us help you. Here, have a free copy of The Book of Chad. May it change your life as it has changed all of ours.

The Blessings of Chad be upon you, and may you find your way to the Light of Chad. We shall all pray for you.

@ Niger and Sudan called. They want you to leave Chad alone.

Niger and Sudan are unbelievers, and will not be saved when His Chadness comes again to reward the righteous.

Chad cannot be reached now, He is in the Valley.
Chad be with you my child.