I love Christmas time. Anyone who doesn't is either in a bad situation on their life, or they have a rotten soul.

You getting KFC for Christmas?

You ask me this every year, and every year I tell you the same thing: we have a large American/English traditional homecooked Christmas dinner.

We also invite over any of our expat friends who weren't able to go home for the holidays and are going to be alone on Christmas. No one eats alone on Christmas if I can help it!

Is the wife out of town? Because you're jerking yourself off more than usual lately.

Oh man... that's a good topic. I haven't jerked off since November 2012. Ahhh...good times. I remember the thick high-arcing ropes I used to sling.

Bull****

I now have superpowers.

So you don't invite any j-celebrants?

I've had so much bull**** happen around Christmas over the years that I just want it to be over with. I'm getting my family some nice gifts but I could do without the constant cheeriness and irritating family time that happens every year. I hope others have a great Christmas this year tho. It's just not my favorite holiday. Now with my grandpa expected to pass away sometime this month, they say any longer would be a miracle. I just want it to be over.