The Grumpy Old Man Thread (or, Why Today Sucks)

[MicShazam]

The number of opponents I must have beaten down over the years in all Warriors games combined... I don't want to know that number.

[The Batlord]

Originally Posted by MicShazam

The number of opponents I must have beaten down over the years in all Warriors games combined... I don't want to know that number.

Pretty sure I'd be an even greater mass murderer than R2D2.

[The Batlord]

BTW if I don't respond to **** for the rest of the day it's cause I now have to play Dynasty Warriors Gundam 3 like a bitch. **** you all.

[OccultHawk]

Originally Posted by The Batlord

Not if you play the right ones. Dynasty Warriors takes no skill sober and when you're stoned the bright colors and repetitive gameplay are a revelation and a journey. Extra points to Gundam Warriors cause giant fighting robots and even brighter colors. And I don't even particularly like Gundam as an anime.

Now just imagine that this is the easiest game in the world to play and takes little to no skill on easier settings while being the most satisfying thing in the world when beating down on peons who can do nothing to stop your might. It's ****ing hypnotic on weed.

So it’s like Star Wars except you got to keep jerking off the remote to get the movie to play.

[The Batlord]

Originally Posted by OccultHawk

So it’s like Star Wars except you got to keep jerking off the remote to get the movie to play.

I don't know what that means but yes basically.

[Trollheart]

Originally Posted by Man like Monkey

I've done a fair few of the things listed in the OP and I'm only in my 20s.

You missed one of the most obvious ones which was accessing porn. If you wanted to have a wank before the internet era, your options were your imagination, the Argos catalogue underwear section or a discarded magazine/friend's dad's videos. You really had to earn your wanks. But guys now can just fire up the smartphone and access a plethora of explicit HQ material.

Cos I'm a good Irish Catholic boy. What are these "wanks" of which you speak?

Originally Posted by OccultHawk

Haha. Yeah, the internet is like having a subscription to every magazine that used to line the smut shops in Times Square.

You know, I’ve never been to Times Square since they cleaned it up.

Oh man! I forgot top shelf magazines in newsagents. Not even adult mags any more now, nobody wants them.

Originally Posted by Frownland

What are these so called "phone calls"?

Don't you know anything? Back in the day, phone boxes would keep communication open by calling to each other across vast distances. These mating calls were known as "Phone calls".

Originally Posted by rubber soul

No ads for prescriptions (In America) and no commercials right after by lawyers cashing in on a class action lawsuit against the drug manufacturer who made the previous commercial.

Yeh, lawyer ads in general: had an accident at work? Mis-sold a PPI? **** off you bloodsucking ****s.

Originally Posted by Plankton

The days before Pong, where you went outside and played in the grass mud and dirt, not worrying about all the BS people are concerned with these days. Kids were generally healthier. I see too many kids all pasty and frail from a life of video games and Hot Pockets, hardly setting foot outside for long periods of time. It's not natural. Good growth of muscle and bone structure starts at early ages, and if you don't build a solid foundation for a healthy lifestyle early on, you'll have a synergistic effect as time goes on and you grow older. Atrophy sets in quicker and you're more prone to disease and illnesses. The "play for an hour a day" campaign is a good idea and a kind of compromise to meet children in the middle with all the options set before them with today's technology, but imho kids need more exercise than just an hour. Basically, what I'm trying to say is: Gtfo the house ya little brats.

...and in summation:

Spoiler for ya spoiled rotten little booger flickers:

Agree 100%

Originally Posted by rubber soul

That's true. When I was a kid the only thing that might make us couch potatoes would have been the Saturday Morning cartoons (do they still exist?). In the afternoon we had to actually socialize. Usually we'd ride bikes or play baseball, football, etc. You don't seem to see a lot of that anymore.

The Little House On the Prairie story again...

Originally Posted by Plankton

10 for us. UHF had 2, 5, 7, 9, 11, 20, 26, 32, 38, and 44.

Chicago Television- Changing Channels Part VIII

I remember being a human remote too. Good times man.

Oh man yes. When you actually had to get up to change the channel. And anyone remember getting your new TV and having to tune in all the channels?

Originally Posted by The Batlord

Gotta be the right porn or else the cringe makes it hard to watch. No mainstream porn at least. Gimme dat Sybian ****.

You're a sick man. Oh. Wait... did you say ...?

Originally Posted by The Batlord

Pretty sure I'd be an even greater mass murderer than R2D2.

I have to ask: why is R2 a murderer?

[The Batlord]

Originally Posted by Trollheart

I have to ask: why is R2 a murderer?

How many people died on the Deathstar? Who in that movie tried harder to kill all of those people than R2D2?

[DwnWthVwls]

TGIF sitcoms in the kitchen on your 11" tv with the built in remote, while your parents watch old people law and order in the living room.

[The Batlord]

Originally Posted by DwnWthVwls

TGIF sitcoms in the kitchen on your 11" tv with the built in remote, while your parents watch old people law and order in the living room.

I feel sorry for anyone who didn't grow up with Sabrina the Teenage Witch. It was one of those life defining shows.

[Trollheart]

Originally Posted by The Batlord

How many people died on the Deathstar? Who in that movie tried harder to kill all of those people than R2D2?

Um, all of Red Squadron? Are you high? R2 just sat in the back like Luke's overpacked luggage. He didn't kill anyone.
#FreeTheDroid
#R2Innocent