Cheating...

WWWP · 09-15-2017, 11:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lucem Ferre

If polyamory is people that love multiple people rather than one, then yes it kind of fits in that area. Maybe that concept is new to her and she really never realized that love doesn't have to be monogamous like we're taught all our lives. Is that really a controversial way of thinking about it or do you people think I'm justifying her cheating or what?

No, not controversial, it's just a complex and ambiguous topic. You're not necessarily wrong, it's just also more nuanced than that. I tend to think that all humans are generally capable of (and maybe even prone to?) romantic love for more than one partner, but whether or not you engage in a polyamorous lifestyle vs a monogamous one is more a matter of preference and logistics than it is an identity.

Zhanteimi · 09-16-2017, 12:57 AM

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WWWP · 09-16-2017, 01:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mord

The issue here isn't polyamory. That's it own issue. The issue here is lying (cheating).

I agree.

Lucem Ferre · 09-16-2017, 01:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mord

The issue here isn't polyamory. That's it own issue. The issue here is lying (cheating).

I didn't deny that I actually pointed that out. Just saying that maybe something that should be discussed so things like this can be avoided. Like he should bring it up to her. Unless she just likes to **** but has no feelings for him just that other dude.

Zhanteimi · 09-16-2017, 02:28 AM

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DwnWthVwls · 09-16-2017, 07:19 AM

I hate when people say that.. just because you cheat on someone doesn't mean you're a perpetual cheater. She's known him for what 17 years, and her new BF for 8 months. You guys make an awful lot of assumptions about character for having one side of the story and not a clue as to who any of the parties involved actually are as people.

Sometimes you make connections with people that have significant impact and meaning in your life and you find your emotions really torn. Less bias and shaming more advice giving with the understanding you know **** all about the reality of the situation..

Zhanteimi · 09-16-2017, 07:25 AM

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WWWP · 09-16-2017, 01:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DwnWthVwls

I hate when people say that.. just because you cheat on someone doesn't mean you're a perpetual cheater. She's known him for what 17 years, and her new BF for 8 months. You guys make an awful lot of assumptions about character for having one side of the story and not a clue as to who any of the parties involved actually are as people.

Sometimes you make connections with people that have significant impact and meaning in your life and you find your emotions really torn. Less bias and shaming more advice giving with the understanding you know **** all about the reality of the situation..

Good point. There are a lot of reasons people cheat and they are not all inherently malicious or even a deal breaker imo.

I'm interested to know the answer to stephen's question. v

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stephen

So you two were involved before her current relationship? How did you feel about her meeting someone else?

Ninetales · 09-16-2017, 02:03 PM

ive gone through something similar and I can empathize with you wanting to continue screwing/keeping the friendship alive. but I think you even know that it will end in a tire fire. if you keep fucking, it's only temporarily extending the illusion of friendship (especially if you do in fact have feelings beyond FWB).

imo going back to just being friends seems impossible. it's either all or nothing.

The Batlord · 09-16-2017, 03:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ricky ricardo

Yes, let us not foul the pristine image of the group of people known as "cheaters."

Cause really we're just here to see if TM is ****ing his cousin.

09-16-2017, 12:57 AM	#42 (permalink)
Zhanteimi Mord Join Date: Oct 2014 Location: Tokyo Posts: 4,873	. __________________ Zhanteimi LetsTalkMusic Last edited by Zhanteimi; 12-13-2017 at 06:07 AM.

09-16-2017, 02:28 AM	#45 (permalink)
Zhanteimi Mord Join Date: Oct 2014 Location: Tokyo Posts: 4,873	. __________________ Zhanteimi LetsTalkMusic Last edited by Zhanteimi; 12-13-2017 at 06:07 AM.

09-16-2017, 07:25 AM	#47 (permalink)
Zhanteimi Mord Join Date: Oct 2014 Location: Tokyo Posts: 4,873	. __________________ Zhanteimi LetsTalkMusic Last edited by Zhanteimi; 12-13-2017 at 06:07 AM.

09-16-2017, 02:03 PM	#49 (permalink)
Ninetales Music Addict Join Date: Jun 2013 Location: livin wild Posts: 2,179	ive gone through something similar and I can empathize with you wanting to continue screwing/keeping the friendship alive. but I think you even know that it will end in a tire fire. if you keep fucking, it's only temporarily extending the illusion of friendship (especially if you do in fact have feelings beyond FWB). imo going back to just being friends seems impossible. it's either all or nothing.