Review restaurants in your town
 

Bad or just generally disappointing ones especially. Go!

Golden Corrall: This is hell. The end of the line. A land of hopelessness and desperation. I was often dragged here after church with friends' families when I was a kid. The last time I had to eat at a golden corral, the waitress asked me if I was Pentecostal like her (she said she asked because of my hair and outfit-- it was a 1950s outfit which I suppose looked oddly conservative there) and kept trying to invite me to her church. I adjusted my wardrobe a bit after that.

Joe's Pasta & Pizza: Good pizza. Cheaper, greasier but better than all the other nearby italian places. Everyone who works here is Bulgarian. The tallest waiter is always telling nonsensical dad jokes in his thick Bulgarian accent. If you attempt to give a polite, joking response, he will look at you blankly and say "WHAT? HUH??" repeatedly until you change the subject by asking for more tea.

Simply Thai Cuisine: Honestly, the only reason I've eaten here so many times is because the waiter is dreamy. I feel like the other waiter knows this. Anyway, this is probably the better Thai place around here. (There are countless Thai and Vietnamese spots where I live) It's almost always nearly empty inside. I enjoy watching the other white people who order things that are too spicy for them and then complain incessantly about the spiciness.

Tony's Pizza & Pasta: The worst. So incredibly bland. All of their sauces taste like they were frozen and then diluted with tons of oil.

Ying Cafe: This place has been around for ages. It used to be quite good (it's just your standard takeout chinese) but in recent years the meat has become stringy and mushy textured. I also have to avoid going inside the place to order because there is this one cook in the back who, upon seeing me, would stand there and stare at me through the window and attempt to talk to me (by silently mouthing things to me while gesturing wildly) the entire time I was waiting for my order which made me highly uncomfortable.

Los Juniors in Vista. Best hole in the wall Mexican restaurant I've ever been to. Everything I've had there is delicious but their adobada is especially fantastic. Their cabeza is as well, but that one doesn't seem to be as popular. The part of town its in has a reputation for sketchiness but tbh I just think the people who say that see Mexicans and automatically think gangbangers.

Sue Thai Om, formerly known as Happy Chang's, makes some excellent Thai food. I was talking to some people who were also waiting for food visiting from Thailand that say it's better than the food in their country. If any of you stop by this one, hmu and I'll walk on down, I could go for it any time of day that my budget allows.

Sublime Ale House has a 12/10 beer selection and hands down the best burgers ever made. They have a fancy mac and cheese that's pretty popular too. Pricy though, so I don't go as often as I'd like.

somebody once told me how awesome golden corall was so last time i was in the US (Florida, to be exact) i decided to try it. we were the only people under 300lbs in the entire restaurant and everything tasted as if it had been sitting around all day. never again.

This is why my family refers to it as Golden Trough.

-that one Asian place: pretty decent for a generic Asian restaurant

-that other Asian place: same menu as the other one, quality is worse though

-that one sushi place: it's okay, nothing special. Beats having to drive to the big city for sushi.

-that fancy one: delicious and fancy as hell. Ridiculously expensive though

-the best Döner in town: the best Döner in town

-the gyros place: best gyros ever

-the Turkish grill place: great grilled lamb and stuff

-the vegan restaurant: run by friends but I've only been there once. Pretty tasty, kinda expensive though.

That taco truck that parks in the safeway parking lot in Guerneville: 5/5 stars, always stop there on my way to or from the beach.

That taco truck that parks in the gas station parking lot by my house: 3/5 stars, it's pretty good but $10 for a veg burrito is nonsense, I might at well use the gas money to go to the Guerneville taco truck.

The taco truck that parks in the middle of the Bromuda triangle until 4am (between all the pubs): 10/5 their chile rellano burrito has literally saved my life.

That taco truck my old neighbour would cook me dinner from sometimes that I've never seen outside of his driveway. 20/10

Went to Steel City Popsicles and some place called HG Sply or something in Dallas today. Not my choices, but my sister was paying, so. I really dislike the Greenville area of Dallas so I did not have high hopes for the restaurant. It was overpriced and bland. Why don't these places ever properly season their food??! Would it kill them? I also made the mistake of ordering a gin and tonic which was also terrible, but most places are terrible at making gin and tonics, so I don't know what I was expecting.

The popsicle place was.. Okay, I guess. They had interesting flavors. But I'd rather just eat a snowcone or ice cream rather than a popsicle that's dripping all over my neck and shirt in the Texas heat. (I got the coconut flavor, which was good but only slightly better than the fancier popsicles you might find at Trader Joes or wherever)

All my meals are consumed at the Taco Bell in Garner, 30/10

They really wish you'd buy some actual Taco Bell though. It's just weird.

Poké King: It's the unholy byproduct of a mutual masturbation session between a Panda Bowl and a sushi roll, while lingering eye contact was made at a Subway. Would eat there again.

I like to pretend that everyone eating in that restaurant actually lives there and have been there since the beginning of time-- that it's an alien hive of sorts--and if you linger for too long, their human disguises will slide off onto the ground and they will consume your essence and distribute the rest of you into the many troughs for future visitors to feast upon.

(Their breakfast buffet is alright though)

Damn when I was a kid Golden Corral was a real treat. We literally had to drive two hours to get there and my parents thought it was so fancy because they had prime rib and seafood specials. Don't eat seafood in a landlocked state, I thought that was the rule. I love bad buffets though, where else can you get disappointing mac and cheese and canned fruit cocktail in bulk?

I remember the macaroni and cheese at Golden Corral having an almost fuzzy texture. How did they manage to make macaroni fuzzy?? I do have a fondness for disappointing buffets though. I wish there were 24 hour Chinese buffets. (Ooh maybe with a bar and arcade too because why not)

Blue Water Seafood Market and Grill

The Cioppino will make you ***.

It'll make me gay? Must be good.

Apparently I was sooo underwhelmed by that Steel City Pops place that I went there yet again with my sister. I'm not sure if it was worth the treacherous walk from the parking lot in the extreme heat, though. I got the peach cream flavor which was not particularly peachy tasting; it tasted more like an orange creamsicle but with a more nondescript fruit flavor. And I got an oatmeal cream pie popsicle to go but I haven't tried it yet.

How white do you have to be to go to a popsicle restaurant?

Well the place is located in gentrification central, so. I would love for all of the popsicle and cupcake shops to go away (and be replaced with taco trucks) and die but I wasn't the one paying; I'm not about to turn down free food. They go there twice weekly which is ridiculous to me due to the price, but whatever. (Like I said, it is not that hard to find decent fancy popsicle flavors at Trader Joes or wherever but they don't listen!)

Also bear in mind my sister is a bit racist and is uncomfortable when she isn't surrounded by identical white people who are all dressed alike.

A place near me that's actually good (in case any of you ever suffer the misfortune of passing through Watauga, Texas) is Campfire Grill. Everything actually tastes homemade, and they have chorizo burgers and tacos and fried catfish and your standard southern fare.
Edit: wow, small-town restauraunts always have such marvelous website designs, don't they?

And there's another place in Watauga called Chef Point Cafe that used to be really good-- it was featured on Diners Drive-Ins and Dives-- but last time I ate there I got food poisoning and the food wasn't as impressive, so. It may be fine now for all I know. It's mainly just slightly upscale southern food. I unfortunately cannot remember the better things I ate there as it was many years ago. (Might have been the duck?)



Omg the accents of the diners.. I hope I don't sound like that.

The duck thing looks :cool:

I loooove duck so much. (The chinese place near me used to have cheap fried duck but unfortunately they stopped selling it) I hear goose is even better though.

Deep Sushi: The sashimi was just okay (I didn't have very high expectations) aside from the yellowtail which was really good. Didn't try anything else aside from the pear sake which was also very good. Expensive.

Revolver Taco Lounge: I was tipsy at this point, so it's possible that the tacos weren't quite as amazing as I believed them to be but we got the polpo (octopus) tacos and al pastor. The octopus ones were my favorite. SO GOOD. I wanted to order 12 more (because tequila brain) for later but I valiantly resisted. The al pastor tacos weren't any better or worse than what you'd get at your typical taqueria. Good, strong margaritas. They came in jars because everything comes in jars these days. (Those darn folksy whippersnappers)

Cindi's: Diner/deli type place. Had scrambled eggs with smoked salmon and the turkey club sandwich; both were decent. The menu is enormous and I was trying to choose lighter options so I didn't get to try what I might have otherwise. (elphenor had a waffle and a chicken salad sandwich--er, not at the same time obviously-- but I forgot to ask if they were any good) I'm sure the rest of the food is better than what I chose. About 2 hours after eating here I had excruciating lower abdominal pain for about 30 minutes--no other symptoms, no nausea or anything like that-- but then it mysteriously vanished so I'm not sure if it was the food or what. (It was a more extreme version of similar pains I get periodically after eating certain things)

Pepe's Pizza: Tried the gyro and it was pretty good; I LOVE gyros and I usually get them at Tex's Star Grill near me but these were almost as good. I'm content as long as they use real pita bread and not those paper-thin pita pocket things which alllllll the gyro places in Baton Rouge used.

..Also had drinks (I figure we may as well review local bars in this thread too) at Twilite Lounge in deep ellum; I got some cocktail involving chartreuse, gin and lime juice and it was interesting I suppose. (Personally I would have gone with cucumber rather than lime) It was enough to make me slightly tipsy at least. I generally like that bar. Or, at least, I don't aggressively hate it. They have a jukebox with a decent oldies selection which helps quite a bit.

wait wut

Sorrento Pizza - Amazing Sicilian food made by octogenarian women who slowly walk your cheesy, perfectly topped pizzas or massive plates of chicken parmesan as your mouth waters. It's a lesser known institution where I live that stays as a hole in the wall because they don't want to dilute the family business. Right next to the Thai place I mentioned earlier.

How was your chicken salad sandwich????

Best burger I've ever had tbh. Perfectly spiced, nice char, juicy as ****, savory brioche buns that aren't too sweet (a lot of places make them too sweet and ruin the burger). It's in Carlsbad, check it out if you're driving through there and want a $10 burger Chula. Dope fries and interesting beer selection too.

Craft Burger: Home

I just saw this. That taco truck was half my diet for three months. Legendary.

(still love that burger spot, absolutely don't miss it if you're visiting San Diego)

Challenged by Antonio's

Their adobada burrito made me cry.

Cabeza just means "head"

I hope you tipped the waitress well