Horror Writing Competition Round 2: Voting

Trollheart · 07-05-2017, 03:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Oriphiel

Vote, you hussies.

This hussy has voted already.

Oriphiel · 07-08-2017, 04:58 AM

Which did you vote for?

Trollheart · 07-08-2017, 10:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Oriphiel

Which did you vote for?

Nothing Under the Sun of course.

**Frownland** · 07-08-2017, 10:36 AM

I thought that one was the weakest tbh. Pretty sure I wrote that exact story in 8th grade.

Oriphiel · 07-08-2017, 11:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frownland

I thought that one was the weakest tbh. Pretty sure I wrote that exact story in 8th grade.

**Frownland** · 07-08-2017, 11:15 AM

It could be improved by going deeper into his psyche about it. The ending was somehow non-sequitur and predictable at the same time.

Nice dialogue though.

Oriphiel · 07-08-2017, 11:19 AM

I'm glad it got such a strong reaction out of you.

**Frownland** · 07-08-2017, 11:22 AM

Use your cream.

I voted for Sunshine because it was the most interesting premise and it was handled well with realistic characters and well-tightened writing.

Chiomara · 07-08-2017, 11:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frownland

Use your cream.

I voted for Sunshine because it was the most interesting premise and it was handled well with realistic characters and well-tightened writing.

Same here.

I liked The Hourglass too, though.

Trollheart · 07-08-2017, 11:35 AM

My only minor complaint with it is that the last lines are completely superfluous; they assume the reader can't work out what was going on, so it has to be explained to him or her. I would have left out that "explanation" entirely. It also ends the story on an exclamation mark rather than three dots, as it were ....

Other than that, it's far and away the best here. I'd put Sunshine second, though the ending was meh.

View Poll Results: Which is your favourite?
Sunshine	2	20.00%
Nothing Under the Sun	4	40.00%
The Hourglass	2	20.00%
The Last Captain	2	20.00%
Voters: 10. You may not vote on this poll

07-08-2017, 04:58 AM	#22 (permalink)
Oriphiel Ask me how! Join Date: Oct 2014 Location: The States Posts: 5,354	Which did you vote for? __________________ ---------------------- \|---Mic's Albums---\| ---------------------- ----------------------------- \|---Deafbox Industries---\| -----------------------------

07-08-2017, 10:36 AM	#24 (permalink)
Frownland SOPHIE FOREVER Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: East of the Southern North American West Posts: 35,541	I thought that one was the weakest tbh. Pretty sure I wrote that exact story in 8th grade. __________________ Studies show that when a given norm is changed in the face of the unchanging, the remaining contradictions will parallel the truth. d e a f b o x

07-08-2017, 11:15 AM	#26 (permalink)
Frownland SOPHIE FOREVER Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: East of the Southern North American West Posts: 35,541	It could be improved by going deeper into his psyche about it. The ending was somehow non-sequitur and predictable at the same time. Nice dialogue though. __________________ Studies show that when a given norm is changed in the face of the unchanging, the remaining contradictions will parallel the truth. d e a f b o x

07-08-2017, 11:19 AM	#27 (permalink)
Oriphiel Ask me how! Join Date: Oct 2014 Location: The States Posts: 5,354	I'm glad it got such a strong reaction out of you. __________________ ---------------------- \|---Mic's Albums---\| ---------------------- ----------------------------- \|---Deafbox Industries---\| -----------------------------

07-08-2017, 11:22 AM	#28 (permalink)
Frownland SOPHIE FOREVER Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: East of the Southern North American West Posts: 35,541	Use your cream. I voted for Sunshine because it was the most interesting premise and it was handled well with realistic characters and well-tightened writing. __________________ Studies show that when a given norm is changed in the face of the unchanging, the remaining contradictions will parallel the truth. d e a f b o x

07-08-2017, 11:35 AM	#30 (permalink)
Trollheart Born to be mild Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: 404 Not Found Posts: 26,992	My only minor complaint with it is that the last lines are completely superfluous; they assume the reader can't work out what was going on, so it has to be explained to him or her. I would have left out that "explanation" entirely. It also ends the story on an exclamation mark rather than three dots, as it were .... Other than that, it's far and away the best here. I'd put Sunshine second, though the ending was meh. __________________ Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018