A Musical Tribute to Music Banter (with apologies to Chula)
 

Sing to the tune of "Stairway to Heaven". You may have to Google it: a little-known song by some obscure blues/rock band from the seventies: Copper Airship? Tin Balloon? Something like that. Anyway...


(Soft acoustic guitar intro, with gentle flute added...)

There's a forum I know, it's a place that I go
It's a place that we call Music Banter.
There are members and mods (some of them are quite odd)
Can be hard just to get a straight answer.

It's a place that we call Music Banter....

There's a sign on the wall, says “No Nickelback fans
We don't need your sort around here.”
And if you can't take a joke or have skin thin as paper
Then you might just find yourself in tears.

(Guitar)

Ooh, it makes me wonder...
Ooh, it makes me wonder...

There's a feeling I get from the people I've met
That they know everything about music.
In my time here I've seen people pleasant and mean
And ****storms that have shaken the forum.

Ooh it makes me wonder...
Ooh it really makes me wonder...

And it's whispered that soon a guy called Janszoon
Will appear to lead us all to freedom.
And a new day will dawn; drama will be gone
For he is the true voice of reason.

(Electric guitar and percussion)

Ooohhh...

If there's a Frownland in your bathroom, don't be alarmed now:
He's just composing his new album.
Yes there are only two tracks on it, both an hour long
But that's just the way he likes to do these things.

And it makes me wonder...
Ohhhh....

Your head is throbbing and it won't go, in case you don't know
The Batlord's calling you to join him.
Make sure you bring along your wallet cos he's piss poor
And don't expect him to stand his round.

(Unnecessarily long and wanky guitar solo – go go Jimmy!)

And as we wind on down the road
Most of us uglier than toads
We talk of metal, rap and rock
And the latest President Trump shock.
Hey man, what albums are you digging?
Yeah, well bruv that's just your opinion
And if Trollheart makes just one more thread
We're gonna kill that **** stone dead.
Who's still in the Album Club?

(Acapella)

It's a a place that we call Music Banter....

Better than expected, I had a good snicker :laughing:

Where am I up in all this?

I like it

Thanks. Waiting to see what Led Zep's number one devotee (read: sucker of Page's cock) thinks of it...
Probably in the liner notes somewhere.
Thanks

Song for a Newbie

To the tune of “Comfortably Numb”

Hello (hello hello hello) is there anybody in there?
Just post if you can hear me:
Is there anyone home?
Come on (come on come on) now, I've put my intro down;
You can ease my pain
Help me achieve forum fame.
Relax (relax relax relax); you'll need some information first?
Just the basic facts? Well it could be a whole lot worse.

I am not into heavy metal
For me it's only jazz and soul.
I don't like the charts one little bit:
Their lips move, but I don't care what they're singing.
When I was a child I heard Miles Davis
My head burst just like a balloon.
Now I've got that feeling once again,
I can't explain, you would not understand:
This is just how I am.
But
I want to be part of the gang.

I want to be part pf the gang.

Okay (okay okay okay) I'm gonna make a thread now
“Which is the best” ARRRRGGHHHHHHH!
Do threads like that make you feel sick?
Getting some replies now:
I do believe it's working. Good.
That'll get me known around this place
You all will know my face.

I do not like rap, punk or country:
Coltrane and Davis are my guys.
I can only listen to good jazz:
It's just the kind of music I was brought up on.
When I was a child I caught a fleeting glimpse
Of pop music on the radio;
I turned the knob and it was gone, I tuned into a jazz station instead
And now I'm a jazzhead.
I want to be part of the gang.

Actually quite brilliant. No apologies necessary. Once you made your way into my auto-sig you automatically earned yourself a lifetime free pass. :wave:

Cool. Glad you liked it. But aren't you supposed to be avoiding bright lights and strong women? Or is it the other way around? Also, shouldn't you be shunning the internet like an ISIS fighter shunning an educated woman?

If only ISIS fighters shunned educated women and stopped there. :p:

Nice avatar, Chules—just noticed the other day it was Escher.

Here's a bit of Page trivia for ya. Right before Escher died Jimmy bought a bunch of his original works, the value of which skyrocketed upon MC's death.

He donated all of them to a Museum to honor the guy.

https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com...b03e99fc93.jpg

In line with Ori's new Conspiracy thread, are you suggesting Page arranged Escher's death in order to maximise the return on his investment? :yikes:

I thought that was obvious. You're slipping man......

I'm open to challenges/requests, so if you want me to write a lyric to a song and make it about MB or even a specific member, fire away. But it needs to be a song I'm familiar with.

Black Hole Sun - Soundgarden

I had to write a parody of this song in high school and I failed miserably in my attempt. Let's see if you can do better.

Don't you mean Black Hole Pun?

I feel this is an appropriate time to link to one of my all-time favourite MB threads.

Snoop Dogg - For All My Niggaz & Bitches

Don't know it.
Don't know it.

Reminder: Hi! I'm Trollheart!

Toto - Africa

Now that's a good one. You want it about MB in general, or a member?

How do you not know... *suddenly remembers you're from Ireland* i hate foreign countries.

I'm thinking it'll suit a member better.

It's nothing to do with being Irish. I have never heard a single Soundgarden song, nor is it likely I ever will.
You got anyone in mind?

wolverinewolfweiselpigeon. Have fun with that one.

Nah, I'm kidding. "Isbjørn" has the same inflection as "Africa." Go with that.

Do a version of Tiny Dancer for BigDGarciaDancer.

In the interim I decided, and this is what I came up with. See if you can guess who I'm singing about before the chorus.

To the tune of "Africa" by Toto.

I hear his trophy room is huge:
He has posters of every band you could imagine.
He dresses differently to you:
A gentleman who's fond of nineteenth century fashion.
I stopped this strange man along the way
Hoping to find some music I had never heard of prior to this
He turned to me as if to say
"Listen boy, it's waiting there for you."

Gonna take a lot to drag him into the present day:
There's nothing a hundred men or more could do, no way.
He is the boy they called Innerspace:
Gonna take some time and listen to the things he has to say oh yeah.

Wild dogs cry out in the night
He says they're field recordings by some obscure artist.
I guess he probably is right
Sure as Doctor Who flies through space and time in his TARDIS.
I read his funny office tales
Laughing at the things that he has done.

Gonna take a lot to drag him into the present day:
There's nothing a hundred men or more could do, no way.
He is the boy they called Innerspace:
Gonna take some time and listen to the thing he has to say oh yeah.

I don't like it. The syllables don't match up and roll off the tongue the same way.

a song about MLM to the tune of When Doves Cry

How could you just leave me wanking?
Alone in my room, that's so bold
Maybe you're not into bant-ing
Maybe you don't like my lager; too cold

goes too well with your avi

https://www.insidersedge.co.uk/wp-co...un-to-head.jpg
I'm afraid I don't know our simian friend well enough to attempt that.

all you need to know is that he's a wanker

That could be true of any of us. And is.

Stay tuned: I'm working on one. Details soon.

OK, here we go. To the tune of, well, you know....


Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to talk about this thing called music
Electric word, music: means a whole lot and that's no lie but I'm here to tell you there's something else: Music Banter.

A world of never ending drama
You can see the bull****, day or night

So when you call up Amazon to order that album:
You know the one: Grime Classics IV?
Instead of asking them how long delivery takes
Tell them download that **** to me baby!

Cause in this life, things are much harder without music.
In this life, it's what you own.

And if those haters try to bring you down
Say **** you: you know who I am?

See he was called Fluffy Kittens, had to change his name;
People did't like it, he hadn't any friends.
Thought his name was rude, not appropriate:
Many complaints, people getting angry -
No no was all he heard.

But he wasn't going to let those haters bring him down now he's

Man Like Monkey
Man Like Ape
Doesn't smoke a cigarette but he really likes to vape.

Big Villa fan, major league;
Followed and supported them for many years,
When they went down, he was so sad;
But he said well you know it really ain't so bad:
They may be relegated but they won't stay down.

Man Like Monkey
Man Like Ape
Doesn't smoke a cigarette but he really likes to vape.

Is he gonna let those haters bring him down? Oh no!
Man Like Monkey
Man Like Monkey
.
Gotta have some hip-hop in your life
Gotta have that grime.
Music isn't worth a single damn if it doesn't have that rhyme.

Oh yeah
Oh yeah
Oh yeah
Take it away!

I want one of these now. Pleeeease?

That's that shit I do want to hear :cool:

UTV

Do one for me to the tune of You Suffer.

Gimme a tune
We'll be back!
Don't know it. Once again: Hi, I'm Trollheart.

^

do me but remember i'm underage