Quote:
Originally Posted by DwnWthVwls
No there isn't. I'm sorry you can't comprehend that.
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So you can predict the future now? Like, I couldn't say that someone I haven't spoken to for twenty years isn't somehow going to end up back in my life in some way. Probably won't happen, but there's absolutely no certainty that it won't. I'm sorry you can't comprehend that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by OccultHawk
Nothing is being trivialized without the assumption that when someone speaks for themself they're also speaking for you or even for everybody.
I dislike when people speak as if there's universal truth about what's profound.
Example, you can't understand what it's like until you have a child.
For me it wouldn't mean ****. That's why I don't have one. I could go around telling people they'll never have the slightest clue what it means to understand Coltrane. I could imply their lives are obviously empty without Coltrane. I have no interest in projecting the intricacies of my experience as something that is or should be universal to all. I can hear their scoffs already. The absurdity that I love Coltrane's music more than a mother loves her own child. I could reply if you tended to your child the way I tended to my understanding of Coltrane your child wouldn't be under a viaduct shooting smack. But I keep that to myself. Maybe you see death as the ultimate loss because you've been sheltered from the horrors of other kinds of loss. Are you so certain that losing a parent to death is worse for EVERYONE than having a parent simply say **** you. I don't want you. No goodbye. Just gone. We can accept others' hardships as explained or put our grief on a measuring stick. When someone expresses what has and does grieve them personally unless they add and what hurts me would hurt you equally there's no reason to assume that's what's implied.
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This would all be fine if he had not said "The real bitch is losing people who aren't dead". That implies that he thinks it's the same for everyone. I already said it's his opinion, and my opinion is it offends me. I'm offended, though not in any huge way. I mentioned it. I'm not going to take it back. I have lost more people over the years to know how it hurts like hell when someone dies on you, and for ME, there is no comparison. Didn't say there isn't for anyone else, but it doesn't stop me being offended that someone would make a comment of that nature.
He's entitled to feel whatever way he wants, so are you, just as I'm entitled to raise an objection. I'm not asking him, or you, to ratify or justify that objection, but it doesn't stop me having it, and voicing it.
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