Weird things you believed (or were frightened of) as a kid

Chiomara · 06-14-2017, 10:15 PM

Yes, I guess that would include god/the devil but that's not really unusual enough to be mentioned here.

I recall thinking that sunflowers were sort of like telephones for the dead and that if you spoke into the center of them, they could hear you. (I'm definitely going to use that if I ever get around to writing my book of short children's' stories)

I thought that Michael Jackson and the Hamburglar were the same... entity..? for a really long time, and I believed that no one knew but me and he KNEW that I knew and would someday use this knowledge against me. (??) I feared the Hamburglar immensely. I remember sitting in the backseat of our car on the way back from JC Penny, and suddenly becoming terrified that Michael Jackson the Hamburglar was right behind us on the road, chasing us on all fours.

Oh, and until the age of 7 or so I believed that women and girls were only allowed to marry male family members-- I thought that once I was old enough I would be forced to marry the oldest man in my family, and once they died, I would have to marry the next oldest and son on. I have NO clue why I thought this but I remember abruptly dissolving into tears over it one day and my parents explaining to me that no, that's not how it worked.

AND I believed that Prince was my uncle. Like.. a magical, distant uncle/fairy godmother of sorts. It's a long story.

Kids are weirdos.

Neapolitan · 06-14-2017, 10:24 PM

When I was a kid I believe that the string beans, corn and peas that came in a can were actually fake vegetables that were somehow manufactured in a factory. I use to wonder how they could make them so small. I couldn't understand why they would bother to make a machine that could make fake peas etc. when they could just pick real peas that grow on a farm.

**Frownland** · 06-14-2017, 10:35 PM

I thought my dad was watching a movie when 9/11 happened.

Chula Vista · 06-14-2017, 10:48 PM

I thought the world was all black and white in the old days. It was impossible to imagine that all of the stuff in old movies was in reality, in color.

**Frownland** · 06-14-2017, 11:07 PM

I thought that I could use monopoly money at the snack bar at school. During kindergarten at a k-8 school, it made a lot of sense to me because it was run by 8th graders and I knew one of those punk ass mother****ers, and nobody would ever trust them with real money.

The truth really hurt.

**Exo** · 06-14-2017, 11:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chula Vista

I thought the world was all black and white in the old days. It was impossible to imagine that all of the stuff in old movies was in reality, in color.

Are you color blind or just retarded?

OccultHawk · 06-14-2017, 11:39 PM

I thought everyone except for me was an alien or robots and I was the center of some kind of elaborate experiment.

This was in my early 20's but I read something about prostitutes in Vietnam putting razor blades in their vaginas to slice up American cocks. And for a while I had this phobia that my girlfriend was going to do that to me. Finally, she came out and said, "I don't have a razor blade in my pussy." I guess she could see the terror on my face.

When I was like from 5-8 years old I used to hallucinate and hear voices. It was more weird than scary. I also pissed my pants a lot back then.

Starting at around ten I started obsessing that some kind of weird Nazi like ghost goon was following me and watching me through my window. Sometimes he would be like neon colored in outline but pitch black or invisible otherwise.

I also worried obsessively about running into a vicious dog pack even though I had never seen one.

OccultHawk · 06-14-2017, 11:42 PM

Quote:

I recall thinking that sunflowers were sort of like telephones for the dead and that if you spoke into the center of them, they could hear you.

That's beautiful.

Chula Vista · 06-14-2017, 11:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Exo

Are you color blind or just retarded?

I was born in 1960. I just figured color was invented in 1959.

**Exo** · 06-14-2017, 11:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chula Vista

I was born in 1960. I just figured color was invented in 1959.

Ahhh, the way you worded it made it seem like you thought real life was in black and white because you saw it on TV that way. Like the present.

06-14-2017, 10:15 PM	#1 (permalink)
Chiomara mayor of spookytown Join Date: Jan 2017 Posts: 812	Weird things you believed (or were frightened of) as a kid Yes, I guess that would include god/the devil but that's not really unusual enough to be mentioned here. I recall thinking that sunflowers were sort of like telephones for the dead and that if you spoke into the center of them, they could hear you. (I'm definitely going to use that if I ever get around to writing my book of short children's' stories) I thought that Michael Jackson and the Hamburglar were the same... entity..? for a really long time, and I believed that no one knew but me and he KNEW that I knew and would someday use this knowledge against me. (??) I feared the Hamburglar immensely. I remember sitting in the backseat of our car on the way back from JC Penny, and suddenly becoming terrified that Michael Jackson the Hamburglar was right behind us on the road, chasing us on all fours. Oh, and until the age of 7 or so I believed that women and girls were only allowed to marry male family members-- I thought that once I was old enough I would be forced to marry the oldest man in my family, and once they died, I would have to marry the next oldest and son on. I have NO clue why I thought this but I remember abruptly dissolving into tears over it one day and my parents explaining to me that no, that's not how it worked. AND I believed that Prince was my uncle. Like.. a magical, distant uncle/fairy godmother of sorts. It's a long story. Kids are weirdos.

06-14-2017, 10:35 PM	#3 (permalink)
Frownland SOPHIE FOREVER Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: East of the Southern North American West Posts: 35,541	I thought my dad was watching a movie when 9/11 happened. __________________ Studies show that when a given norm is changed in the face of the unchanging, the remaining contradictions will parallel the truth. d e a f b o x

06-14-2017, 10:48 PM	#4 (permalink)
Chula Vista Toasted Poster Join Date: Oct 2014 Location: SoCal by way of Boston Posts: 11,332	I thought the world was all black and white in the old days. It was impossible to imagine that all of the stuff in old movies was in reality, in color. __________________ “The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well, on the surface of a gas covered planet going around a nuclear fireball 90 million miles away and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be.”

06-14-2017, 11:07 PM	#5 (permalink)
Frownland SOPHIE FOREVER Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: East of the Southern North American West Posts: 35,541	I thought that I could use monopoly money at the snack bar at school. During kindergarten at a k-8 school, it made a lot of sense to me because it was run by 8th graders and I knew one of those punk ass mother***ers, and nobody would ever trust them with real money. The truth really hurt. __________________ Studies show that when a given norm is changed in the face of the unchanging, the remaining contradictions will parallel the truth.* d e a f b o x

06-14-2017, 11:39 PM	#7 (permalink)
OccultHawk one-balled nipple jockey Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Dirty Souf Biatch Posts: 22,006	I thought everyone except for me was an alien or robots and I was the center of some kind of elaborate experiment. This was in my early 20's but I read something about prostitutes in Vietnam putting razor blades in their vaginas to slice up American cocks. And for a while I had this phobia that my girlfriend was going to do that to me. Finally, she came out and said, "I don't have a razor blade in my pussy." I guess she could see the terror on my face. When I was like from 5-8 years old I used to hallucinate and hear voices. It was more weird than scary. I also pissed my pants a lot back then. Starting at around ten I started obsessing that some kind of weird Nazi like ghost goon was following me and watching me through my window. Sometimes he would be like neon colored in outline but pitch black or invisible otherwise. I also worried obsessively about running into a vicious dog pack even though I had never seen one. __________________ 2016 2017 2018 2019 2020 Member of the Year & Journal of the Year Champion Behold the Writing of THE LEGEND: https://www.musicbanter.com/members-...p-lighter.html