I console myself that even if it can be hell in my mind, and I'd clearly be way better off without all this ****, I still don't know that I would fundamentally change my mental state. When I think about how tepid and... linear so many people I meet come across, I gag at the idea of becoming more like them. They're fine and I can like them and have some kind of meaningful relationship with them under the right circumstances, but I no longer fantasize about being whatever passes for normal. I tried toning myself down years ago for the sake of social integration and was constantly rolling my eyes at just how boring I was becoming. At least I entertain myself if nothing else.

I've got a couple of decades on you.

Have you only had like fast food level jobs your whole life?

I ask because you write so well. It seems like even if you couldn't escape the ultimate drudgery you could weed out the competition on jobs that demand you pass a certification exam. It'll still suck but you could up your pay and be a bit more comfortable at work. I'm not saying you haven't or what or if you're joking about Wendy's or what. Also, how can you even afford psychiatric medications? If you want to pm me or just tell me to **** off that's cool. You're describing some pretty painful ****.

Jesus! How ****ing old are you guys? I mean, mentally? Just ignore it and it will go away? It takes a few minutes, maybe an hour, you can sort it out and you don't have to worry about it. And you're, none of you, prepared to do that? You deserve everything you get. The world doesn't owe you a living. Things go wrong. Get off your arses and fix them when they do. Grow up.
Yeah well, what can I say? If you're determined to be miserable I don't know what to tell you. I never loved my job, but I enjoyed it mostly, and I always got a reasonable feeling of job satisfaction. Bollixed tired most of the time, but I was glad not to be on the dole and to be a productive member of society. But hey, that's just me.
I say he starts with you. Captain.
In that case, you should make it the kind of vacation that you would take if the world was about to end! :beer: (repeat as needed)
****, no she's not. She's gorgeous! :love:

When mental illness manifests your mind starts looping and you sometimes you just can't. What you're saying is like telling someone with a broken leg to just put weight on it anyway. It seems like that's just an excuse until it happens to you. The brain is physical and physical things malfunction. It's crippling and horrifying, trust me. Instead of casting stones just be glad it's not you.

I like work.

Work = money.
Money = pay for things like... food. and rent.

Work is good.



What planet are you living on?

Basically. I had a job at my friend's dad's shipping company for like a month as my first job, but that's only somewhat better than BK.

My problem is that even if I'm smart and ****, I'm terribly incompetent in many of the ways that you should be to actually have a job. I have terrible concentration and memory, no people skills, the hand-eye coordination of a flatworm, a temper that can't seem to allow me to let go of criticism, and probably a lot of other **** I can't think of atm that's made me a terrible employee in general. They won't even let me do anything that involves interacting with customers because they reasonably assume that I'd flip out and get myself fired for something dumb. With is funny since I'm surprisingly level-headed with customers, but in general they're right to be leary of giving me more responsibility. At Burger King.

I don't know how much better I'd be at a non-customer service job, but there honestly isn't a whole lot that I know of around my neck of the woods that isn't either customer service or somehow involving the military.

My mom worked in a hospital and is good friends with the man who's been my doctor since as long as I can remember, and he just agreed to meet me under the table and talk about stuff to see if I should be on any medication. As for the actual money for the meds, again my mom looked up discounts on meds (she has a lot of the same issues as me and already knew what to look for) so that they wouldn't be ridiculously overpriced and has been bankrolling my medication for the past couple of years. Mom's a godsend tbh and I don't have any idea where I'd be if she weren't so awesome, nor do I know what I'll do when she's gone.

I'm not gonna lie like I wasn't uncomfortable with some of the stuff I was saying last night and today, but I prefer to be open about **** in general when I can help it. "The only thing worse than being an ******* is lying about it", is something I invented possibly. Not that I'm a ridiculously honest open book or anything, but I try not to warp reality about myself when I actually talk about it.

It's people like you that make people like me not want to talk about these things.

Who mentioned mental illness? Batty certainly doesn't have a mental illness, does he? Anything that prevents him interacting with people? Listen, if that's the case then I'm sorry, but he certainly put it in a way that suggested he couldnt' be bothered to sort it out, not that he had any anxiety about it. And then you two just said "us too".
So it's my fault you can't be arsed to make a phone call? Understood. :rolleyes:

lol

Social anxiety on a widespread level is considered a form of mental illness.