This Week in God
 

Hey look, it's a post about Religion. Religious jokes and affiliations,,,,, Go.

If ppl started cracking jokes about religon would it not offend some MB members. Don't get me wrong I'd be well up for jokes about a whole range of subjects including religon, but I'm not religous.

I dare you to tell one........

i think making jokes about religion would be offensive if it came from a non believer......

I don't know any religious jokes.... not off the top of my head anyway..

Jen xx

Does that mean you can only crack jokes about your own religon, if you have one. Or if you believe in one religon can you legitamately joke about another.
I'm not a murderer. Can I not joke about the subject?
I'm not into Country music. Can I not make a joke about Dolly Partons boobs?
I'm not a Vegetarian. Better not do any about Carrots.

haha... a carrot tried to walk into a bar.... but i couldnt cos it doesnt have legs... HA! what and idiot!

hahahah!!!
:rofl:

Religious jokes suck. Theyre not even funny and in here theyd just turn into 17 pages of "argument" closely followed by 2 people having a pointless e-fight.

Ok. A jew walks in a bar, and asks the bartender what time it is? So the bartender shoots him, and says why would I tell you that? You just ate my sandwich.

the end

OK, that joke was a bit hateful. Its actually grounds for me to disable your account. I'm just gonna trust that you'll open your mind and grow a few more braincells before you post again.

Okay James Earl Jones, just IGNORE aita then. ptsch. and yeah, i think maybe twud offend some people. so, just...leave it out. mmhm.

Is thread in danger of exploding into anger?
If it is could someone in the know stop it before it kicks off.
I hate violence. Even if it is typed.
For the sake of peace please do something!!!!!
*bites nails*

ahh religous jokes whyyyy!

god what are you dont make fun of a religion like that thats how stuff like fascism starts do you like the holocaust? i f you answered yes you are a nazi and i hate nazis dont ever post something like that again and by the way read my signature

I'm only guessing, but maybe the joke was said with ignorance instead of any real malice. If that was the case then possibly the author of the offensive joke will learn from this.
Peace, happiness, & unity to bring one love for all.

I hope.

i hate racists

Yes, I apologize. I was merely taking a random religion and making a stupid joke because everyone was saying that this thread would start a huge argument if someone said some bad religion joke.

yeah well fucknazis

erm....isn't this one of those random only-americans-find-it-funny-jokes like:why did the chicken cross the road?because the calculator was on the chair.
either way i don't get why it would be funny or offensive.....or am i just stupid and i dun git it?

yea me no believey in jebus or anything for that matter. i thnk that when we die, we're dead and thats all, no spirits, no nada.

"All religions make me want to throw up...free for a fee"

my take on it is....


Religions aren't that great...they're just crutches for idle humans to lean on through hard times in life..and unknowingly these religious affiliates are just further dividing mankind into seperate categories.

Technically I'm Serbian Greek Orthodox, but I don't stress it because religion is one of the main causes of war.

The new nun goes to her first confession.
She tells the priest that she has a terrible secret.
The priest then tells her that her secret is safe in the sanctity of the confessional.
She says, "Father, I never wear panties under my habit."
The priest chuckles and says, "That's not so serious, Sister Bernadette. Say five Hail Marys, five Our Fathers, and do five cartwheels on your way to the altar."

****

One day God was looking down at Earth and saw all of the evil that was going on. He decided to send an angel down to Earth to check it out.
So he called one of his best angels and sent the angel to Earth for a while.
When she returned she told God, yes it is bad on Earth, 95% is bad and 5% is good.

Well, he thought for a moment and thought maybe he'd better send down a second angel to get another point of view.

So God called another angel and sent him to Earth for a time too.
When the angel returned he went to God and told him "Yes, the Earth is in decline. 95% is bad and 5% is good."

God said this was not good.
So he decided to send e-mail to the 5% that were good. He wanted to encourage them, give them a little something to help them keep going.
Do you know what that e-mail said?

Oh, you didn't get one either, huh? Bummer.

Little Johnny went to his mother demanding a new bicycle.

His mother decided that he should take a look at himself and the way he
acts.

She said, "Well Johnny, it isn't Christmas and we don't have the money to
just go out and buy you anything you want. So why don't you write a
letter to Jesus and pray for one instead."

After his temper tantrum his mother sent him to his room. He finally sat
down to write a letter to Jesus.

Dear Jesus, I've been a good boy this year and would appreciate a new
bicycle.
Your Friend, Johnny

Now Johnny knew that Jesus really knew what kind of boy he was (a rat), so
he ripped up the letter and decided to give it another try.

Dear Jesus, I've been an OK boy this year and I want a new bicycle.
Yours truly, Johnny

Well, Johnny knew this wasn't totally honest so he tore it up and tried
again.

Dear Jesus, I've thought about being a good boy this year and can I have a
bicycle?
Johnny

Well Johnny looked deep down in his heart, which by the way was what his
mother really wanted. He knew he had been terrible and was deserving of
almost nothing. He crumpled up the letter, threw it in the trash can and
went running out of the house.

He aimlessly wandered about depressed because of the way he treated his
parents and really considered his actions.

He finally found himself in front of a Catholic church. Johnny went
inside and knelt down, looking around, not knowing what he should really
do.

Johnny finally got up and began to walk out the door and was looking at
all the statues. All of a sudden he grabbed a statue of the Virgin Mary
and ran out the door.

He went home, hid the statue under his bed and wrote this letter:

Jesus, I've got your mama. If you ever want to see her again, give me a
bike.

:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

hehe nice

i feel exactly the same...

makes you smile doesnt

I agree with you on that. If we die, we become a rock with no emotions or any of that stuff. Or at least that's what i think.

im agnostic

whats that

welll its when you believe that there is a creating power but not some guy sitting on throne being like i am god obey me and yeah you dont go to church obviousley

Wow he does that? Hey, you learn something new every day..

Agnosticism is the refusal to form an opinion on the existence of God due to the lack of available proof

Yeah, And A comment on the point of this thread: It's here to be light hearted and not hateful, I'm Unitarian myself....

Yep, pretty much agree with that.

Agnosticism is for the underinformed.....Unitarian is like "Agnostic+"

What the hell's that supposed to tell me.. I'm rather confused.

Well The UnitarianChuch pretty much says "Hey religon is good" and they honor every religon and think you should decide on your own what you want to beleive.

ah. Well, i suppose that is good. But are there like, actual churches for this?