Your Day

music_collector · 06-14-2022, 07:44 PM

I'll take your word for that. I've never had absinthe. I've heard about its effects though.

ribbons · 06-19-2022, 01:18 AM

My niece asked me today to speak at her wedding this November. She knows that I have a fear of public speaking but said that she and her fiancé really want me to do it. I am already filled with dread and fear and don't know how I'll get through it. Seriously, I have the biggest fear of public speaking in the world and am afraid I'll faint mid-speech (no kidding).

**Marie Monday** · 06-19-2022, 03:50 AM

Oh I'm sorry, that's a difficult situation. Do they know it's that bad? I hope something can be done to make it easier for you (and if you really can't do it then you just can't, that's ok of course)

adidasss · 06-19-2022, 04:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ribbons

My niece asked me today to speak at her wedding this November. She knows that I have a fear of public speaking but said that she and her fiancé really want me to do it. I am already filled with dread and fear and don't know how I'll get through it. Seriously, I have the biggest fear of public speaking in the world and am afraid I'll faint mid-speech (no kidding).

I totally understand you, anything above 3-4 people is quite awful.

How about, you get a little tipsy to take the edge off, recognize that the first few minutes will be awkward as hell, make a joke about it. In my experience after a few minutes, the initial fear wears off.

Or simply explain to your niece that it would really be quite an awful experience for you. I'm not sure if she really understood what a negative feeling it provokes in you. If she really cares about you, she will understand and not ask you to still go through something that is traumatic for you just so it would be nice for her?

I would have flat out refused.

One of the reasons why I don't feel like marrying my partner is that a wedding is such a painfully public affair and I can't stand that kind of attention. :/

Guybrush · 06-19-2022, 04:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ribbons

My niece asked me today to speak at her wedding this November. She knows that I have a fear of public speaking but said that she and her fiancé really want me to do it. I am already filled with dread and fear and don't know how I'll get through it. Seriously, I have the biggest fear of public speaking in the world and am afraid I'll faint mid-speech (no kidding).

I think the best thing would be to explain why you can't. Obviously, doing it will ruin a lot of the wedding for you.

If you're gonna do it, get it done early so you can fill as much of the day with relief from being done rather than dread. And rehearse it well and consider practicing in front of an online audience of friends on the MB discord server.

Plankton · 06-19-2022, 04:35 AM

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yQ6giVKp9ec

I hate speaking in front of people, but I've done it a few times and I feel a lot better and even a bit accomplished afterwards. Maybe get some tips from Toastmasters:

https://www.toastmasters.org/resourc...ling-your-fear

Guybrush · 06-19-2022, 05:11 AM

I'm usually reluctant, but find it quite exhilarating and fun once I'm up there.. That is if I get to entertain in some capacity and not just do like work presentations or hold meetings. Even bombing is something I find funny in a masochistic sort of way.

I used to have more of a fear for it and would usually get some dutch courage beforehand, usually a couple of beers. But after playing concerts for a while and also doing other stuff, the fear subsided and more or less turned into excitement. There's a little flutter of butterfly wings left, but not in a bad way.

Generally, I find that being prepared for what you're about to do helps. I don't rehearse speeches exactly and actually like to improvise, but I notice that I run through variations of them in my own head beforehand whether I want to or not, so I'm probably more prepared than I look. If I'm supposed to do something at an event or whatever, it's actually hard to focus on anything else until I got it out of my system. Hence, I usually like to just get it over with.

rubber soul · 06-19-2022, 05:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by adidasss

One of the reasons why I don't feel like marrying my partner is that a wedding is such a painfully public affair and I can't stand that kind of attention. :/

Did you consider having a civil ceremony (assuming it's legal where you are)?

adidasss · 06-19-2022, 06:29 AM

Oh sure but then there's the whole expectation to "commemorate it" in one way or another, even with a small group of friends, otherwise people might get upset or something and I just really dislike the idea of being the focus of attention in something like that.

I have problems, I know. :/

Lisnaholic · 06-19-2022, 08:48 AM

Yep, a full wedding is so stressful for the main participants. I always respected my sister who flat out said: me, plus husband plus the 2 necessary witnesses, then straight down the pub afterwards.

Just one time I gave a Best Man's speech at a formal wedding, and in addition to Guybrush's advice I would say:-
i) sure, say no if it's too difficult for you
ii) if you decide to do it, (a) write the speech together with your neice, so the quality of the speech is not all on you, (b) keep it as short as decently possible, (c) remember that your audience will be well-disposed towards you. All they want is a little sentiment, a quick laugh, then carry on with their boozing.

06-19-2022, 04:35 AM	#75836 (permalink)
Plankton Just Keep Swimming... Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: See signature... Posts: 7,765	https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yQ6giVKp9ec I hate speaking in front of people, but I've done it a few times and I feel a lot better and even a bit accomplished afterwards. Maybe get some tips from Toastmasters: https://www.toastmasters.org/resourc...ling-your-fear __________________ See location...

06-19-2022, 05:11 AM	#75837 (permalink)
Guybrush Juicious Maximus III Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Scabb Island Posts: 6,525	I'm usually reluctant, but find it quite exhilarating and fun once I'm up there.. That is if I get to entertain in some capacity and not just do like work presentations or hold meetings. Even bombing is something I find funny in a masochistic sort of way. I used to have more of a fear for it and would usually get some dutch courage beforehand, usually a couple of beers. But after playing concerts for a while and also doing other stuff, the fear subsided and more or less turned into excitement. There's a little flutter of butterfly wings left, but not in a bad way. Generally, I find that being prepared for what you're about to do helps. I don't rehearse speeches exactly and actually like to improvise, but I notice that I run through variations of them in my own head beforehand whether I want to or not, so I'm probably more prepared than I look. If I'm supposed to do something at an event or whatever, it's actually hard to focus on anything else until I got it out of my system. Hence, I usually like to just get it over with. __________________ Something Completely Different

06-19-2022, 06:29 AM	#75839 (permalink)
adidasss Slavic gay sauce Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Abu Dhabi Posts: 7,945	Oh sure but then there's the whole expectation to "commemorate it" in one way or another, even with a small group of friends, otherwise people might get upset or something and I just really dislike the idea of being the focus of attention in something like that. I have problems, I know. :/ __________________ “Think of what a paradise this world would be if men were kind and wise.” - Kurt Vonnegut, Cat's Cradle. Last.fm

06-19-2022, 08:48 AM	#75840 (permalink)
Lisnaholic ...here to hear... Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: He lives on Love Street Posts: 4,444	Yep, a full wedding is so stressful for the main participants. I always respected my sister who flat out said: me, plus husband plus the 2 necessary witnesses, then straight down the pub afterwards. Just one time I gave a Best Man's speech at a formal wedding, and in addition to Guybrush's advice I would say:- i) sure, say no if it's too difficult for you ii) if you decide to do it, (a) write the speech together with your neice, so the quality of the speech is not all on you, (b) keep it as short as decently possible, (c) remember that your audience will be well-disposed towards you. All they want is a little sentiment, a quick laugh, then carry on with their boozing. __________________ "Am I enjoying this moment? I know of it and perhaps that is enough." - Sybille Bedford, 1953

06-14-2022, 07:44 PM	#75831 (permalink)
music_collector Music Addict Join Date: Apr 2022 Location: Canada Posts: 744	I'll take your word for that. I've never had absinthe. I've heard about its effects though.

06-19-2022, 01:18 AM	#75832 (permalink)
ribbons Music Addict Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 1,265	My niece asked me today to speak at her wedding this November. She knows that I have a fear of public speaking but said that she and her fiancé really want me to do it. I am already filled with dread and fear and don't know how I'll get through it. Seriously, I have the biggest fear of public speaking in the world and am afraid I'll faint mid-speech (no kidding).