Your Day

The Batlord · 12-05-2016, 01:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Qwertyy

i think maybe you misread her post?

That I did. Ped... quit being an idiot. It's a tattoo, not a feathered headdress.

Paedantic Basterd · 12-05-2016, 02:01 PM

Oh Plank.

Thing is, if I got rid of everyone in my life who had a personality defect, there'd be nobody left, because we're all flawed individuals who need to learn how to negotiate and tolerate one another's bull****. Certainly there needs to be a bull**** threshold, but it can't be that low.

People don't ever see themselves as "I want my friend to do something that makes her uncomfortable". What they perceive is "my friend is lecturing me because she thinks she knows more than me" or "my friend doesn't like the idea and is trying to convince me not to do it passive-aggressively" or "my friend is trying to control what I do with my body".

Cultivating long-term friendships is a giant game of reading, reacting to, and reframing people's behaviour so you don't hate each other after like 2 years of friendship.

And yes, it's possible that this is largely what it's like to cultivate female friendships rather than male ones, but the quality is also different for what you put into it. So maybe I don't have to put up with any of Tom or Ian's bull****, but I also can't ask them to listen and support me when I have an existential crisis either.

Plankton · 12-05-2016, 02:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Paedantic Basterd

Oh Plank.

Thing is, if I got rid of everyone in my life who had a personality defect, there'd be nobody left, because we're all flawed individuals who need to learn how to negotiate and tolerate one another's bull****. Certainly there needs to be a bull**** threshold, but it can't be that low.

People don't ever see themselves as "I want my friend to do something that makes her uncomfortable". What they perceive is "my friend is lecturing me because she thinks she knows more than me" or "my friend doesn't like the idea and is trying to convince me not to do it passive-aggressively" or "my friend is trying to control what I do with my body".

Cultivating long-term friendships is a giant game of reading, reacting to, and reframing people's behaviour so you don't hate each other after like 2 years of friendship.

And yes, it's possible that this is largely what it's like to cultivate female friendships rather than male ones, but the quality is also different for what you put into it. So maybe I don't have to put up with any of Tom or Ian's bull****, but I also can't ask them to listen and support me when I have an existential crisis either.

People also like to complicate the hell out of things.

Ol’ Qwerty Bastard · 12-05-2016, 02:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frownland

Ja I was going to mention not bringing up the white part. White people hate being reminded that they're white.

it's true. if you really want to make her mad tell her to 'check her privilege'

Key · 12-05-2016, 02:33 PM

Thanks guys. Though I disagree, I've been told I have a heart so that's why I give a **** about her situation. I wouldn't get back with her if it meant that or losing my life. I'd rather lose my life.

Zhanteimi · 12-05-2016, 02:34 PM

Damn. I feel bad for you, Ki.

Key · 12-05-2016, 02:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mordor

Damn. I feel bad for you, Ki.

I'm not asking for sympathy. Just expressing that it's not easy to just give up on someone even if they've given up on themselves.

Zhanteimi · 12-05-2016, 02:36 PM

I'm not offering sympathy. Whether you like it or not, your life is a shitshow, and you're broadcasting it to us. So, yeah, I feel bad for you.

Key · 12-05-2016, 02:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mordor

I'm not offering sympathy. Whether you like it or not, your life is a shitshow, and you're broadcasting it to us. So, yeah, I feel bad for you.

Fair enough. I'll happily express my ****ty life to you all if that's what you want.

Blank. · 12-05-2016, 03:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ki

Thanks guys. Though I disagree, I've been told I have a heart so that's why I give a **** about her situation. I wouldn't get back with her if it meant that or losing my life. I'd rather lose my life.

Quit being a pussy. Get tinder. Swipe right (or is it left? I don't know. My life isn't that ****ed up yet) on the bitches and get your dirty ass laid. Or you can move down to Nebraska and move in with me so I can ass rape you in the morning.

12-05-2016, 02:34 PM	#41006 (permalink)
Zhanteimi Mord Join Date: Oct 2014 Location: Tokyo Posts: 4,873	Damn. I feel bad for you, Ki. __________________ Zhanteimi LetsTalkMusic

12-05-2016, 02:36 PM	#41008 (permalink)
Zhanteimi Mord Join Date: Oct 2014 Location: Tokyo Posts: 4,873	I'm not offering sympathy. Whether you like it or not, your life is a shitshow, and you're broadcasting it to us. So, yeah, I feel bad for you. __________________ Zhanteimi LetsTalkMusic

12-05-2016, 02:01 PM	#41002 (permalink)
Paedantic Basterd Music Addict Join Date: Sep 2010 Posts: 5,184	Oh Plank. Thing is, if I got rid of everyone in my life who had a personality defect, there'd be nobody left, because we're all flawed individuals who need to learn how to negotiate and tolerate one another's bull**. Certainly there needs to be a bull threshold, but it can't be that low. People don't ever see themselves as "I want my friend to do something that makes her uncomfortable". What they perceive is "my friend is lecturing me because she thinks she knows more than me" or "my friend doesn't like the idea and is trying to convince me not to do it passive-aggressively" or "my friend is trying to control what I do with my body". Cultivating long-term friendships is a giant game of reading, reacting to, and reframing people's behaviour so you don't hate each other after like 2 years of friendship. And yes, it's possible that this is largely what it's like to cultivate female friendships rather than male ones, but the quality is also different for what you put into it. So maybe I don't have to put up with any of Tom or Ian's bull**, but I also can't ask them to listen and support me when I have an existential crisis either.

12-05-2016, 02:33 PM	#41005 (permalink)
Key . Join Date: Dec 2010 Posts: 13,153	Thanks guys. Though I disagree, I've been told I have a heart so that's why I give a **** about her situation. I wouldn't get back with her if it meant that or losing my life. I'd rather lose my life.