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jwb
03-09-2021 11:05 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mindfulness
(Post 2165493)
This post sort of fits your avy well lol
the use of the term "broads" was very intentional ;)
Frownland
03-09-2021 11:05 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marie Monday
(Post 2165492)
The nagging wife trope irks me, it's just such a dumb unnecessary thing. It's just a dynamic that husbands and wives get pushed into by gender conventions. If men stopped looking for silly childish princesses they have no connection with beyond thinking they're cute, and women stopped looking for dumb machos to take care of them, things would be much better.
The nagging wife trope irks me, it's just such a dumb unnecessary thing. It's just a dynamic that husbands and wives get pushed into by gender conventions. If men stopped looking for silly childish princesses they have no connection with beyond thinking they're cute, and women stopped looking for Meatheads to take care of them, things would be much better.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jwb
(Post 2165496)
the use of the term "broads" was very intentional ;)
the man cave trope, which you brought up first, is also a gender stereotype and no less tied up in the same dynamic as the nagging wife trope. You're no less gendered in your approach than anyone else you just (naturally, as a lesbian) target men instead.
I dunno how much truth there is in this bit so don't take it like I'm posting it as gospel, it's just comedy but I do think there's at least an element of truth here which I strongly identify with:
I'm aware that the man cave is basically the other side of the nagging wife coin, and I'm targeting both men and women.
I relate to that bit too btw, I work the same way. In many stereotypical gender dynamics I'm more like a man than a woman. The issue is that men and women push each other and themselves further in their little roles, treating each other almost like different species to the point where communication about your differences becomes virtually impossible.
Consider how men and women are usually uninterested in any connection with each other outside of their gender roles; for instance, they're rarely just friends without being attracted to each other. How are you gonna make a relationship work with someone you view that way?
Exo
03-09-2021 11:21 AM
Take my wife! Please!
jwb
03-09-2021 12:00 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marie Monday
(Post 2165501)
I'm aware that the man cave is basically the other side of the nagging wife coin, and I'm targeting both men and women.
I relate to that bit too btw, I work the same way. In many stereotypical gender dynamics I'm more like a man than a woman. The issue is that men and women push each other and themselves further in their little roles, treating each other almost like different species to the point where communication about your differences becomes virtually impossible.
Consider how men and women are usually uninterested in any connection with each other outside of their gender roles; for instance, they're rarely just friends without being attracted to each other. How are you gonna make a relationship work with someone you view that way?
I have a different pov. I'm not sure which of us is more cynical.
You say people just superficially choose mates and that's why they're left unsatisfied. I think there's a spectrum but generally speaking people choose long term mates not just based on looks or gender tropes but on an emotional connection.
I just tend to think no matter how strong that connection... It's not infinitely strong. **** will start to get old eventually. You will each start to have your own personal drives while you cohabitate. It is perfectly natural to slowly drift apart. It's like erosion.
Trollheart
03-09-2021 12:14 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marie Monday
(Post 2165492)
The nagging wife trope irks me, it's just such a dumb unnecessary thing. It's just a dynamic that husbands and wives get pushed into by gender conventions. If men stopped looking for silly childish princesses they have no connection with beyond thinking they're cute, and women stopped looking for dumb machos to take care of them, things would be much better.
Try having a nagging sister! All the hassle with none of the benefits. :(
Quote:
Originally Posted by ribbons
(Post 2165494)
*** MEGA HIGH-FIVE *** :beer: :bowdown:
And I never nagged!
I'd be happy to be nagged by you for the rest of my life.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jwb
(Post 2165495)
the man cave trope, which you brought up first, is also a gender stereotype and no less tied up in the same dynamic as the nagging wife trope. You're no less gendered in your approach than anyone else you just (naturally, as a lesbian) target men instead.
I dunno how much truth there is in this bit so don't take it like I'm posting it as gospel, it's just comedy but I do think there's at least an element of truth here which I strongly identify with:
:clap:
Quote:
Originally Posted by jwb
(Post 2165496)
the use of the term "broads" was very intentional ;)
At least you didn't say skirts.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Exo
(Post 2165502)
Take my wife! Please!
Definition of mixed feelings: watching your mother in law going over a cliff in your brand new sports car.
Copyright, MCP MMCX - ah damn it with Roman numerals! 1968
Quote:
Originally Posted by jwb
(Post 2165510)
I have a different pov. I'm not sure which of us is more cynical.
You say people just superficially choose mates and that's why they're left unsatisfied. I think there's a spectrum but generally speaking people choose long term mates not just based on looks or gender tropes but on an emotional connection.
I just tend to think no matter how strong that connection... It's not infinitely strong. **** will start to get old eventually. You will each start to have your own personal drives while you cohabitate. It is perfectly natural to slowly drift apart. It's like erosion.
More like entropy.
Marie Monday
03-09-2021 12:18 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by jwb
(Post 2165510)
I have a different pov. I'm not sure which of us is more cynical.
You say people just superficially choose mates and that's why they're left unsatisfied. I think there's a spectrum but generally speaking people choose long term mates not just based on looks or gender tropes but on an emotional connection.
I just tend to think no matter how strong that connection... It's not infinitely strong. **** will start to get old eventually. You will each start to have your own personal drives while you cohabitate. It is perfectly natural to slowly drift apart. It's like erosion.
My judgement is definitely coloured by my view of heterosexual relationships, and of course people will drift apart, but the fact that these nagging wife/mancaveman dynamics emerge is a gender role issue. And if you can't work it out and have that particular attitude towards each other (like the typical case of woman pestering man and complaining to her friends, man escaping and making sexist jokes about his wife/women in general at the bar) I think you should start questioning how much you had to offer each other in the first place.
Or for example Allen Ginsberg whining about how women chain you up and inhibit you in Howl. If men can be companions while you have your adventures and endeavours without stopping you, why not women? You're just picking someone incompatible because you're looking for someone to do your laundry.
