Your Day

**Marie Monday** · 10-29-2020, 11:02 AM

I don't see why the issue with the word ***got is complicated. When it's not meant to insult gays the toxic gender stereotype thing is not much better. And I know that you could say the same thing for calling someone a bitch, but some words and contexts are more malicious than others and you have to draw a line somewhere. Like, I would be ok with friends calling me a d*ke affectionately.
And of course words do matter. Avoiding words like ***got is not about trauma to me, and I don't feel personally triggered or attacked as a gay person when someone uses homophobic slurs, but if you live in an environment where your sexual orientation is a slur, it matters, even when it's not intended to be homophobic. At the very least it has a subtle, hostile influence, especially when you're young and closeted.

ribbons · 10-29-2020, 12:00 PM

I personally have zero tolerance for the word f**got, dy*e, ni**ger, b*tch, reta*d, etc., even when used in "jest". It's just disrespectful, period. Why call each other names? And why keep these words in circulation? I don't like it at all, under any circumstances.

~~jwb~~ · 10-29-2020, 12:39 PM

Is there a way to insult someone that isn't inherently disrespectful? Cause that was the entire point to me. To be disrespectful.

I might have responded to the criticism on here differently if I was using it on the forum in some frivolous manner, which I admittedly have probably done before and so have others, often with no controversy. But in this case I was just telling what actually happened IRL, in a distinct moment of rage that probably screwed me over far more than it had any impact whatsoever on homophobia, and if I knew that this was the precise moment the selective outrage brigade was going to pounce on the f word topic I frankly would've just left that detail out.

So here is my compromise: I won't say it on here anymore but as for how I talk in real life, that's very unlikely to change. If that makes me xyz type of piece of **** then so be it. I'll live with that.

Plankton · 10-29-2020, 12:52 PM

I've been through a few rehabs and stayed in a few halfway houses. It can get real explosive real quick, but it's to be expected when you throw a bunch of addicts together and take away their substances. Most everyone in that situation is trying to understand why they have to medicate themselves, and that's a scary journey, facing those reasons why head-on. A little empathy can go a long way, and name calling and belittling does nothing to help that or any situation.

Lucem Ferre · 10-29-2020, 12:53 PM

Don't lie to yourself.

You'll still use it on the forum.

This is far from the first controversy. I'm fairly sure they had a ban threat on the word because Bats was using it all the time.

**Marie Monday** · 10-29-2020, 12:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jwb

Is there a way to insult someone that isn't inherently disrespectful? Cause that was the entire point to me. To be disrespectful.

I might have responded to the criticism on here differently if I was using it on the forum in some frivolous manner, which I admittedly have probably done before and so have others, often with no controversy. But in this case I was just telling what actually happened IRL, in a distinct moment of rage that probably screwed me over far more than it had any impact whatsoever on homophobia, and if I knew that this was the precise moment the selective outrage brigade was going to pounce on the f word topic I frankly would've just left that detail out.

So here is my compromise: I won't say it on here anymore but as for how I talk in real life, that's very unlikely to change. If that makes me xyz type of piece of **** then so be it. I'll live with that.

insults are by definition disrespectful; the difference lies in how many people you drag down in the disrespect: if it's more or less personal or encompasses a whole sexuality/race/etc.

By the way, you probably realise but as far as I'm concerned this whole discussion is way beyond anything personal about you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lucem Ferre

Don't lie to yourself.

You'll still use it on the forum.

This is far from the first controversy. I'm fairly sure they had a ban threat on the word because Bats was using it all the time.

That ban still stands if it's up to me, I don't recall jwb using the word since he came back but it might have slipped by me. Genuinely appreciate that Bat stopped using it btw

Lucem Ferre · 10-29-2020, 12:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lucem Ferre

Don't lie to yourself.

You'll still use it on the forum.

This is far from the first controversy. I'm fairly sure they had a ban threat on the word because Bats was using it all the time.

And I can't remember who complained about the word to get that to happen but I think it was OH.

OccultHawk · 10-29-2020, 12:55 PM

Tell me an insult that doesn’t drag down a large group of people

Lucem Ferre · 10-29-2020, 12:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OccultHawk

Tell me an insult that doesn’t drag down a large group of people

*******!

ribbons · 10-29-2020, 12:57 PM

jwb, to be clear, when I posted my opinion above I honestly wasn't even thinking of your argument with the guy running the house. I can understand why you were angry with him. My best friend has a son living in a residence who regularly has problems with people managing the residence; they are often disrespectful to him, and it angers and hurts him deeply to the point of sometimes wanted to kill himself. So I totally get it - and btw, I hardly think you're a POS by any means. I think you're really smart, in fact.

I just don't like these words being used in any situation - whether it be to insult, joke around or tease, or what have you.

10-29-2020, 12:52 PM	#71864 (permalink)
Plankton Just Keep Swimming... Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: See signature... Posts: 7,765	I've been through a few rehabs and stayed in a few halfway houses. It can get real explosive real quick, but it's to be expected when you throw a bunch of addicts together and take away their substances. Most everyone in that situation is trying to understand why they have to medicate themselves, and that's a scary journey, facing those reasons why head-on. A little empathy can go a long way, and name calling and belittling does nothing to help that or any situation. __________________ See location...

10-29-2020, 12:55 PM	#71868 (permalink)
OccultHawk one-balled nipple jockey Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Dirty Souf Biatch Posts: 22,006	Tell me an insult that doesn’t drag down a large group of people __________________ 2016 2017 2018 2019 2020 Member of the Year & Journal of the Year Champion Behold the Writing of THE LEGEND: https://www.musicbanter.com/members-...p-lighter.html

10-29-2020, 12:00 PM	#71862 (permalink)
ribbons Music Addict Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 1,265	I personally have zero tolerance for the word f*got, dye, ni*ger, btch, reta*d, etc., even when used in "jest". It's just disrespectful, period. Why call each other names? And why keep these words in circulation? I don't like it at all, under any circumstances.

10-29-2020, 12:39 PM	#71863 (permalink)
~~jwb~~ Account Disabled Join Date: Jul 2019 Posts: 4,403	Is there a way to insult someone that isn't inherently disrespectful? Cause that was the entire point to me. To be disrespectful. I might have responded to the criticism on here differently if I was using it on the forum in some frivolous manner, which I admittedly have probably done before and so have others, often with no controversy. But in this case I was just telling what actually happened IRL, in a distinct moment of rage that probably screwed me over far more than it had any impact whatsoever on homophobia, and if I knew that this was the precise moment the selective outrage brigade was going to pounce on the f word topic I frankly would've just left that detail out. So here is my compromise: I won't say it on here anymore but as for how I talk in real life, that's very unlikely to change. If that makes me xyz type of piece of **** then so be it. I'll live with that.

10-29-2020, 12:57 PM	#71870 (permalink)
ribbons Music Addict Join Date: Oct 2009 Posts: 1,265	jwb, to be clear, when I posted my opinion above I honestly wasn't even thinking of your argument with the guy running the house. I can understand why you were angry with him. My best friend has a son living in a residence who regularly has problems with people managing the residence; they are often disrespectful to him, and it angers and hurts him deeply to the point of sometimes wanted to kill himself. So I totally get it - and btw, I hardly think you're a POS by any means. I think you're really smart, in fact. I just don't like these words being used in any situation - whether it be to insult, joke around or tease, or what have you.