I don't see why the issue with the word ***got is complicated. When it's not meant to insult gays the toxic gender stereotype thing is not much better. And I know that you could say the same thing for calling someone a bitch, but some words and contexts are more malicious than others and you have to draw a line somewhere. Like, I would be ok with friends calling me a d*ke affectionately.
And of course words do matter. Avoiding words like ***got is not about trauma to me, and I don't feel personally triggered or attacked as a gay person when someone uses homophobic slurs, but if you live in an environment where your sexual orientation is a slur, it matters, even when it's not intended to be homophobic. At the very least it has a subtle, hostile influence, especially when you're young and closeted.

I personally have zero tolerance for the word f**got, dy*e, ni**ger, b*tch, reta*d, etc., even when used in "jest". It's just disrespectful, period. Why call each other names? And why keep these words in circulation? I don't like it at all, under any circumstances.

Is there a way to insult someone that isn't inherently disrespectful? Cause that was the entire point to me. To be disrespectful.

I might have responded to the criticism on here differently if I was using it on the forum in some frivolous manner, which I admittedly have probably done before and so have others, often with no controversy. But in this case I was just telling what actually happened IRL, in a distinct moment of rage that probably screwed me over far more than it had any impact whatsoever on homophobia, and if I knew that this was the precise moment the selective outrage brigade was going to pounce on the f word topic I frankly would've just left that detail out.

So here is my compromise: I won't say it on here anymore but as for how I talk in real life, that's very unlikely to change. If that makes me xyz type of piece of **** then so be it. I'll live with that.

I've been through a few rehabs and stayed in a few halfway houses. It can get real explosive real quick, but it's to be expected when you throw a bunch of addicts together and take away their substances. Most everyone in that situation is trying to understand why they have to medicate themselves, and that's a scary journey, facing those reasons why head-on. A little empathy can go a long way, and name calling and belittling does nothing to help that or any situation.

Don't lie to yourself.

You'll still use it on the forum.

This is far from the first controversy. I'm fairly sure they had a ban threat on the word because Bats was using it all the time.

insults are by definition disrespectful; the difference lies in how many people you drag down in the disrespect: if it's more or less personal or encompasses a whole sexuality/race/etc.

By the way, you probably realise but as far as I'm concerned this whole discussion is way beyond anything personal about you.
That ban still stands if it's up to me, I don't recall jwb using the word since he came back but it might have slipped by me. Genuinely appreciate that Bat stopped using it btw

And I can't remember who complained about the word to get that to happen but I think it was OH.

Tell me an insult that doesn’t drag down a large group of people

*******!

jwb, to be clear, when I posted my opinion above I honestly wasn't even thinking of your argument with the guy running the house. I can understand why you were angry with him. My best friend has a son living in a residence who regularly has problems with people managing the residence; they are often disrespectful to him, and it angers and hurts him deeply to the point of sometimes wanted to kill himself. So I totally get it - and btw, I hardly think you're a POS by any means. I think you're really smart, in fact.

I just don't like these words being used in any situation - whether it be to insult, joke around or tease, or what have you.