Amatures.

Bet you couldn't get under a bed, fatty.

Pfft I was down there just the other day hiding from my dog. I got under just fine but my hair got stuck in a spring so I had to call for help and cut a chunk of hair off to get out. :(

You can also put a gun under your bed if you're super paranoid about being robbed. The possibilities are endless.

That's what a pillow is for. That and making a fifi.

That's just asking for a hole in something, be it a wall, or your head.

That's what a safety is for. That and making a- nah this joke sucks.

Knives go under the pillow, gun goes in the drawer.

Amatures.

Maybe if you're a snowflake. Real Nam vets keep that **** ready for Charlie if he comes up through the floor.

Ouch.