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Old 05-05-2020, 04:52 PM   #69771 (permalink)
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Old 05-06-2020, 12:39 AM   #69772 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by elphenor View Post
tfw you're starting to get older than a lot of your favorite artists were in their VHS captured shows and you know it's only going to get worse at seemingly increasing speeds
Man, this whole age thing is bull**** because so many artists didn't even blossom until they were older.

Don't let that quarter life crisis get you down.
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Lucem, you're right, it's silly to talk about what I would or wouldn't do IRL. Glad you brought it up. Maybe you should write an instrumental about it. I recommend a piano paired with a clarinet. With ambient sounds of you hanging from your shower curtain you ****ing failure.

Art Is Dead. Buy My ****.
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Old 05-06-2020, 01:47 AM   #69773 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by elphenor View Post
really it could be a mid life crisis or I could die tomorrow

I was thinking how Chomsky is 91 and that it must be weird to know your odds of surviving the next decade are super slim yet constantly be talking about a future you won't be apart of

but then I suppose he will still outlive many people younger than him
I'm thinking of my GMA and how she had a stroke that left her in a wheel chair barely able to communicate with anybody despite having intelligent thought and how depressing that is and how that **** didn't really register with me back then.

Life can be really ****ing rough. Drunken rambling.
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Lucem, you're right, it's silly to talk about what I would or wouldn't do IRL. Glad you brought it up. Maybe you should write an instrumental about it. I recommend a piano paired with a clarinet. With ambient sounds of you hanging from your shower curtain you ****ing failure.

Art Is Dead. Buy My ****.
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Old 05-06-2020, 02:18 AM   #69774 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by elphenor View Post
we drew the short end of the stick with concioussness, or at least I did

"It was a great mistake, my being born a man, I would have been much more successful as a seagull or a fish. As it is, I will always be a stranger who never feels at home, who does not really want and is not really wanted, who can never belong, who must be a little in love with death!"

-Eugene O Neil
The weirdest thing about being human in the social media age is nobody feeling like they fit in or feeling at home.
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Lucem, you're right, it's silly to talk about what I would or wouldn't do IRL. Glad you brought it up. Maybe you should write an instrumental about it. I recommend a piano paired with a clarinet. With ambient sounds of you hanging from your shower curtain you ****ing failure.

Art Is Dead. Buy My ****.
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Old 05-06-2020, 03:00 AM   #69775 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by elphenor View Post
dunno I would say most people feel like they fit in just fine
I'm pretty sure that's very naive
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I want to open a school for MB's lost boys and teach them basic coping skills and build up their self esteem and strengthen their emotional intelligence and teach them about vegetables and institutionalized racism and sexism and then they'll all build a bronze statue of me in my honor and my bronzed titties will forever be groped by the grubby paws of you ****ing whiny pathetic white boys.
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Old 05-06-2020, 03:58 AM   #69776 (permalink)
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you can't "not fit in" if there isn't an established stream everyone is floatin' with yes no?
Nobody in that stream feels like they fit in. A lot of them are just desperately trying to look like they fit in. Which is probably a worse hell than being yourself and not fitting in. Cause at least you accept yourself for who you are rather than rejecting it.
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Lucem, you're right, it's silly to talk about what I would or wouldn't do IRL. Glad you brought it up. Maybe you should write an instrumental about it. I recommend a piano paired with a clarinet. With ambient sounds of you hanging from your shower curtain you ****ing failure.

Art Is Dead. Buy My ****.
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Old 05-06-2020, 04:02 AM   #69777 (permalink)
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Most people who build their identity around being 'different' are basic af and are interchangable with any other gloomy, costumed clown.
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Old 05-06-2020, 04:12 AM   #69778 (permalink)
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So elph, since I'm drunk and you're the only one awake to get my drunken stream of conscious I made this song back in 2015 called Nigrum Cor that just emptied tons of hate I was feeling at the time into it. The song is Latin for 'Black Heart'. I payed an artist I knew 100 bucks for an abstract art piece to capture the emotion behind the song. I was personally envisioning an abstract painting but I gave him all creative freedom based on what he heard. What he sent back was this huge black piece of card board with a black burned rib cage made of broken wire hangers. And a charred thing in the heart position. He says it was just a foot massager but it was charred, with fire, charred black but lit up red and vibrated when you plugged it in. It was way cooler than anything I imagined. It fell apart when he mailed it, but I wasn't mad because it was still really ****ing cool I can post pictures but it doesn't really capture the piece. I used a pic as the album cover but it couldn't capture the piece.. IDK man, Nostalgia on something really really cool. I still have it but haven't seen it in the last 4 years.
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Lucem, you're right, it's silly to talk about what I would or wouldn't do IRL. Glad you brought it up. Maybe you should write an instrumental about it. I recommend a piano paired with a clarinet. With ambient sounds of you hanging from your shower curtain you ****ing failure.

Art Is Dead. Buy My ****.
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Old 05-06-2020, 04:16 AM   #69779 (permalink)
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Ok, not album cover but single cover. An album cover for the single.

https://lucemferre.bandcamp.com/track/nigrum-cor

Such a dark time in my life despite all the awesome **** a did back then.
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Lucem, you're right, it's silly to talk about what I would or wouldn't do IRL. Glad you brought it up. Maybe you should write an instrumental about it. I recommend a piano paired with a clarinet. With ambient sounds of you hanging from your shower curtain you ****ing failure.

Art Is Dead. Buy My ****.
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Old 05-06-2020, 04:16 AM   #69780 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by elphenor View Post
not from what I gather

this comes from my exp of growing up in very homogenous communities
You just don't see it because you're superficial af
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