20 years in the making I've almost got my family trained to **** off with the birthday stuff. Im down to one friend and my mom who insist on bringing it up, and a cousin I'll usually go grab some dinner with. Just say things like "who cares" and "yup, one year closer to dying"...

I had a birthday party in the arcade with laser tag and air hockey tournaments and prizes. The one thing I hate is the birthday song so I told my family if they were going to sing something it should be Bohemian Rhapsody in its entirety and they took me up on it lol. It was a whole spectacle. Then I had a house party the same night with my closest friends and they took turns listing off 30 things they love about me and everyone stayed over slumber party style and then we all went out for breakfast burritos. Maybe you guys just need to learn how to throw a party.

Party Planning & Receiving Social Attention 101 will be one of the many classes taught at WWWP's School for Lost Boys.

Now I'm glad my invitation got lost in the mail. Was it either that or "Don't Stop Believing"?

I know, I know but it's a family thing. And we're all singers so we kill it tbh.

That sounds far worse than even an especially miserable work shift.

That reminds me of weddings where they do choreographed dances

Watching is sickeningly painful but participating would be like I’d rather die level untenable

I would also be highly resentful of anyone who tried to make me stand up and lie about 30 things I liked about them.

I didn't make them do it, they just did.

And that's why you two weren't invited.

:nono:

Then I would be highly resentful towards whichever middle management Michael Scott cornfuck came up with that idea.

There's being able to throw a good party and there's being an uncharmingly corny mf. You should've done 30 shots.