Agricultural economies aren't what makes an area bum****. It would've been funnier if you said "this post made me so mad that I had to stop ****ing my sister to respond".

Now this is the part where you're supposed to accuse me of regional classism.

Coolest thing in Fort Wayne which is very relevant to any music fan:

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sweetwater_Sound

Who cares how woke you are when you're Merle Haggard?

When I'm haggard I usually just need some sleep, so being woke would definitely be an issue there.

The sauce is so weak it's mayonnaise.

My stepdad is upset about Black Friday and wants it to be called White Friday. Then he proceeded to make even more sexual comments about my small child nieces that make me uncomfortable. Like, literally every single time my nieces visit him he makes some weird disgusting creepy uncle comment. I just ate and went to bed, yesterday.

Full disclosure: apparently my cousin is hot. Please keep me away from family gatherings, I'm just gross.

You should have casually recommended that everyone watches Hard Candy.

How old is he?

I will acknowledge the pedophilia joke with "No comment" but smh at the homophobic joke.

I want to open a school for MB's lost boys and teach them basic coping skills and build up their self esteem and strengthen their emotional intelligence and teach them about vegetables and institutionalized racism and sexism and then they'll all build a bronze statue of me in my honor and my bronzed titties will forever be groped by the grubby paws of you ****ing whiny pathetic white boys.