Thats yer mom watching you open your one present on xmas morning.

Earlier today my mom said to my sister "babies will make the hardest men soft" and I instinctively retorted "and the softest men hard" and my sister shot me the meanest look lol.

Basically me at work but I'd make sure to smirk at your sister for at least five seconds.

They switched me to a different department for, I think, 3 months where I'm doing hard labor for the same pay because I'm a hard worker. They keep saying I'll probably be hired on.

I'd be upset about harder work for the same pay if it wasn't an investment towards being hired.

Show up to work in a Hawaiian shirt, cargo shorts, and sunglasses and just bust your ass like normal and don't say anything about your outfit.

Somebody would say something about it.

And no, it's cold outside.

Sandals with socks too?

Act confused.

Wear a fur coat to work.

Just sandals.

Lucem I have a 3 hour layover in SLC tomorrow, where are you taking me?

Starbucks and sex in a bathroom stall.