I'm sure the real dad didn't care but the step dad really wanted you to sit in his lap for some reason.

Even if that were true that would still make me 1 dad richer than you

.

In my experience you can keep em.

You're now free from the bolded blue chains, but look what it cost you.

Your experience:

In my experience the male parents only show up to get you to absolve you of their incompetence.

Bro I've been plotting for a long time now telling the Norm McNonald moth joke but I never have the balls to actually tell it. It's literally the perfect joke. It's only as funny as you are funny and so you have nothing to fall back on to save you if you are not actually funny yourself so telling it is a terrifying prospect.

I tried once but I was too drunk and didn't talk fast enough so someone in the group changed the topic while I kind of stuttered on one of the bits I was doing and I didn't finish. I went on for a good 15 minutes though.

I'll answer this with this: