Buy a box of Oreos and sit in front of the plaintiff and eat all of them in front of him while looking him dead in the eye.

I drank a **** ton of water at work today but I still got dehydrated and got muscle spasm cramps. Hurt so ****ing bad. When this happens really bad it’s probably the worst pain I ever felt or at least way up there. It rolls through my legs and back and sides and stomach, and my fingers claw up, too. I was so sweaty my clothes were soaked like a jumped into a swimming pool wearing my clothes. They got one ****ing dishwasher in there. It’s ridiculous. Ten hours is brutal.

Bananers help with that.

After i posted that my hand cramped up so bad and for so long I almost called 911

I’ve broken bones including a wrist from a skateboard accident where the broken bone stretched out the skin for like an inch (but without breaking the skin) and this was much worse. My pinkie and ring finger were twisted all the way under the other two.

Sounds like you need to quit gambling.

Or shaking hands with the unemployed. :D

Been sick as a dog the last two days. I don't really get the expression either. Dogs get sick a lot? Does it have to do with the phrase "sic em!"? Probably. I'm feeling better though.

I think it's cause they love to eat cat turds.

I found out that if you spray anything with something that smells like citrus cats won't go anywhere near it. I wonder who was the first person to test whether or not cats like the smell of citrus and why.

It was me. I tried to shove a lemon down a cat's throat and it was not pleased. The cat, not the lemon. I don't know what was going through the lemon's mind tbh.