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Just in terms of memory and processing.

Me too tbh

Where did anyone get the idea jwb was a heroin addict lmfao you guys will believe anything

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Originally Posted by WWWP (Post 2067937)

Where did anyone get the idea jwb was a heroin addict lmfao you guys will believe anything

Is it inconceivable?

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Originally Posted by jwb (Post 2067933)

I've never done heroin. But I do think I have brain damage. Just in terms of memory and processing.

But the morals aspect of it extends back before I was ever using or drinking.

Yeah I feel that. I've heard that trauma or depression or whatever in your mother when you're in utero can **** up your development. I believe it. My mother was definitely ****ed up and depressed when I was very young and I believe it started long before I can remember. I think whatever that **** was stunted my emotional growth cause none of... THIS feels like it started at any point I can look to or has anything to do with any choice I ever made or anything I was ever subjected to. It's just how I always was. Like misery and misanthropy were hardcoded into my DNA for no apparent ****ing reason.

Have any of you tried cbt or any form of therapy or are you all convinced that your way of thinking is the right way and it is everyone else who is delusional?

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Originally Posted by Doug McClasky (Post 2067931)

Then stop being like them. That's like them. That's why I don't like them. They are narcissists who'll justify hitting a kid because them being pissed off means they get to do what they want and say it was discipline even though they were so enraged they don't even remember what they did.

That's why they put the pressure on me they way that they do. Yes they care and want the best for me, but they also don't know how to care about people and so they do so in the most scorched earth way they know how without regards to the emotions of the people they're dealing with because they don't know how to interpret emotions or foster growth in a healthy way.

That is exactly the **** I see in you but I also see an ounce of reason in you that can recognize this toxic element and possibly take a step back and ask yourself if you're not just rationalizing all of this for the sake of not having to admit that you're wrong about... yourself and human nature and whatever the ****.

but nothing you guys have said this far has convinced me I'm actually wrong. All you've criticized is my place in life. Which I already know is nothing impressive. So you've really presented me with nothing I don't already know and ignored any points I do make.

And I am trying not to push you too hard cause I know in the past I've been guilty of that. I've pushed you lightly only cause your apathy is your worst enemy and I think to some extent you are settling when you don't need to.

I’d like to get a brain scan and see if they can detect any malformation or damage

That’s what I was getting at in another thread

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Originally Posted by OccultHawk (Post 2067942)

I’d like to get a brain scan and see if they can detect any malformation or damage

That’s what I was getting at in another thread

And then what?

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Originally Posted by OccultHawk (Post 2067935)

What drug were you strung out on?

I really didn't wanna say. But mainly triple C's.

I drank and smoked weed and occasionally did stuff like shrooms/acid/molly too but that wasn't the real problem.

When I started working 12 hour factory shifts I started taking pills to keep me up. Most of the staff was on Coke and meth. I knew I couldn't afford those habits.

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Originally Posted by Doug McClasky (Post 2067939)

My mom went through the same thing. She sunk into depression and was escaping an abusive relationship with that guy who they say is my father when she was pregnant with me. It definitely affected me I now have braids.