Your Day

OccultHawk · 07-25-2019, 04:39 PM

Quote:

And you are a soccer fan?

Not really. When I bet on sports I usually don’t even watch the games.

I just look over their stats and check injuries and ****. With soccer I look for two teams that haven’t been scoring much at all recently and bet on the draw.

I like betting on baseball if I have something to bet. But the payouts suck. It’s really hard to even break even. Over the long run I’m way in the red tbh.

The Batlord · 07-25-2019, 04:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jwb

It's very simple, really. I don't argue we live in a real meritocracy, but merit does matter. I'm not saying choices determine everything, but choices do matter. I'm not saying the system is that great. But I have no control over the system.

All my failures I can trace directly back to choices I made. Any progress I've made in the last 2 or so years, I can trace directly back to choices I made. So basically the system is what it is but the choices you make will affect your place in it.

Everything I've experienced tells me this is true. Both my bad decisions and my good ones. If I take the attitude you and OH are preaching I really have no reason not to go back to my old lifestyle. And I just know intuitively that's a bad idea.

I think your experiences should teach you that there's something about you that is incongruous with society and which will always leave you an outsider and judging yourself by society's standards will inevitably lead you to hating yourself.

~~jwb~~ · 07-25-2019, 04:50 PM

What do you mean by societies standards? Money? Shelter? Security?

No offense but I don't think you really understand where I'm actually coming from cause you don't have to worry about it.

The Batlord · 07-25-2019, 04:54 PM

I don't think you're coming from a standard place but I don't think you realize just how standard a place you're coming from. I have family who sounds like you much of the time and you sound smarter and more self aware than they are but you're still there. A place where not being alpha is unnacceptable.

~~jwb~~ · 07-25-2019, 04:57 PM

I sound like them because they're putting some pressure and hope on you and so am I cause I believe you're smart enough to do better, and so am I.

You know how I'm actually incongruous with society? I have no regard for rules or laws. Or hurting people. I will just do what's good for me so long as I get a short term perk. That's one of the many things I want to change.

The Batlord · 07-25-2019, 05:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jwb

I sound like them because they're putting some pressure and hope on you and so am I cause I believe you're smart enough to do better, and so am I.

You know how I'm actually incongruous with society? I have no regard for rules or laws. Or hurting people. I will just do what's good for me so long as I get a short term perk. That's one of the many things I want to change.

Then stop being like them. That's like them. That's why I don't like them. They are narcissists who'll justify hitting a kid because them being pissed off means they get to do what they want and say it was discipline even though they were so enraged they don't even remember what they did.

That's why they put the pressure on me they way that they do. Yes they care and want the best for me, but they also don't know how to care about people and so they do so in the most scorched earth way they know how without regards to the emotions of the people they're dealing with because they don't know how to interpret emotions or foster growth in a healthy way.

That is exactly the **** I see in you but I also see an ounce of reason in you that can recognize this toxic element and possibly take a step back and ask yourself if you're not just rationalizing all of this for the sake of not having to admit that you're wrong about... yourself and human nature and whatever the ****.

OccultHawk · 07-25-2019, 05:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jwb

I sound like them because they're putting some pressure and hope on you and so am I cause I believe you're smart enough to do better, and so am I.

You know how I'm actually incongruous with society? I have no regard for rules or laws. Or hurting people. I will just do what's good for me so long as I get a short term perk. That's one of the many things I want to change.

I’ve never known an ex-junkie who could shake that. I’m not even trying to start it up again. I think heroin does some kind irreparable damage to brain chemistry. Junkies gonna junk. Didn’t DWV get heat for saying something similar?

~~jwb~~ · 07-25-2019, 05:15 PM

I've never done heroin. But I do think I have brain damage. Just in terms of memory and processing.

But the lack of morals aspect of it extends back before I was ever using or drinking. Probably some of my worst offenses were when I was sober.

The Batlord · 07-25-2019, 05:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OccultHawk

I’ve never known an ex-junkie who could shake that. I’m not even trying to start it up again. I think heroin does some kind irreparable damage to brain chemistry. Junkies gonna junk. Didn’t DWV get heat for saying something similar?

I don't think that's heroin. Like I said, I see so much of him in my family and they're not heroin addicts. I see that **** in me and I've never done any kind of opioid even once.

OccultHawk · 07-25-2019, 05:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jwb

I've never done heroin.

What drug were you strung out on?

07-25-2019, 04:50 PM	#63223 (permalink)
~~jwb~~ Account Disabled Join Date: Jul 2019 Posts: 4,403	What do you mean by societies standards? Money? Shelter? Security? No offense but I don't think you really understand where I'm actually coming from cause you don't have to worry about it.

07-25-2019, 04:57 PM	#63225 (permalink)
~~jwb~~ Account Disabled Join Date: Jul 2019 Posts: 4,403	I sound like them because they're putting some pressure and hope on you and so am I cause I believe you're smart enough to do better, and so am I. You know how I'm actually incongruous with society? I have no regard for rules or laws. Or hurting people. I will just do what's good for me so long as I get a short term perk. That's one of the many things I want to change.

07-25-2019, 05:15 PM	#63228 (permalink)
~~jwb~~ Account Disabled Join Date: Jul 2019 Posts: 4,403	I've never done heroin. But I do think I have brain damage. Just in terms of memory and processing. But the lack of morals aspect of it extends back before I was ever using or drinking. Probably some of my worst offenses were when I was sober.