You need help dude

Go to a meeting

You'll be especially unlovable after you kill someone because you treat drunk driving like it's some cute personality quirk. If you're going to be reckless and passively suicidal at least have the decency to not take anyone else out with you.

It's pretty ****ing gross


(Insert youtube video of a popular 80s band elph wants us to associate him with because otherwise his hollow personality and outward image is entirely comprised of lies he tells himself)

I'm starting to think Lou Reed has been a bad influence on him. He needs a new role model...maybe Bono or Engelbert Humperdinck.

Anthony Kiedis quit drinking and doing drugs. Elph should be more like Anthony Kiedis.

On the real elph

Nah he should be more like John Denver because dying in a drunken plane crash>>>dying in a drunken car wreck

It's a joke tbh some of the stuff he gets on his high horse over on here but he comes on boasting that he's been drink driving, actually boozing at the wheel as if its a bit of bants? :D

Sort it out elph ffs.

*drunk driving

Transporting drinks is totally fine.

No man

Your worst crime is driving while smashed out of your mind