Can’t you just use shot gun?

Just get some roadkill and leave it in the car overnight to keep the kids away.

They don't pay you enough to sit and watch your brain melt out of your ears.

Recently I was driving and thinking oh god my car is going to breakdown and I’m not even going to be able to afford to have it towed. Then I thought **** this negative bull****. My car runs, I’m cruising through town with hella gas in the tank. ****ing enjoy this **** Hawk you’re a goddamn KING. Just stop worrying and enjoy the ****ing moment. And then I met some peeps I’ve known for some time and they fed me an awesome meal including a steak and then we watched a baseball game on TV and it was my old pals The Braves and enjoyed the ****ing **** out of it.

Looks like you practiced a bit of... mindfulness?

Nothing says Mindfulness like a good steak.

It was just a chewy piece of sirloin but I enjoyed the holy **** out of it

And lucem - cliche fad whatever - and I don’t even think you’re laughing at me but I am in on the mindfulness fad - doing 20 minute sits everyday.

Even if it’s bull**** I don’t care. I WANT TO BELIEVE. I’m desperate bro.

I'm not mocking it.

I used to do the meditation thing. It didn't really seem like there was anything to it until years later when I needed to stay calm and focused through certain bad episodes of **** I had deal with. The process is the reward.

Aaaaannnnnd I'm broke.

Finally got fed up with interest charges and rising minimum payments on my two credit cards so I dipped into my savings which I haven't done in five years in order to just start clean. I feel horrible, depressed, happy, and relieved...all at the same time. I need a beer. I cheap one. Good thing I love PBR.