My lists are all handwritten because I need to justify why I am constantly buying new pens.

I appreciate the feel of a good pen.

If you're good with mental notes you don't need a list.

I buy new pens cause I don't want to reuse them after anal play masturbation.

.

amateurs

It's surprisingly hard to find suitable household items to shove up your ass.

Mine's made of unvarnished wood. How would you even deal with a colon splinter?

Cover it with shrink wrap.