Your Day

OccultHawk · 05-06-2019, 03:52 PM

Went to the grocery store after work:

Cashier: You gonna eat this chicken for lunch or give it to me?
Me: You can have a piece, bro, but your fingers will get greasy.
C: What came first the chicken or the egg?
M: The Egg. The chicken evolved from something else that was also hatched in an egg.
C: How did that happen?
M: Radiation from the sun mutated the DNA.
Incredibly Cute Bagger Girl: It took a million years.
C: So if I stand in the sun will I turn into a mermaid?
M: No, you’re already a species. Nobody knows what your DNA is going to do but there’s probably not enough time left before the end of the universe for that to happen.

Fast forward to gas station:

Black Guy 1: It’s a beautiful day! Praise Jesus!
Black Guy 2: I don’t believe in Jesus.
Uncomfortable silence...
Black Guy 2: What? Do you think I’m going to get struck by lightning?
M: Stand your ground dude. Stand your ground.
Black Guy 2: Yeah!

Listened to This Nation’s Saving Grace, Nashville Skyline, and The Other Side of Abbey Road at work today. Three great records.

Mindy · 05-06-2019, 04:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OccultHawk

Went to the grocery store after work:

Cashier: You gonna eat this chicken for lunch or give it to me?
Me: You can have a piece, bro, but your fingers will get greasy.
C: What came first the chicken or the egg?
M: The Egg. The chicken evolved from something else that was also hatched in an egg.
C: How did that happen?
M: Radiation from the sun mutated the DNA.
Incredibly Cute Bagger Girl: It took a million years.
C: So if I stand in the sun will I turn into a mermaid?
M: No, you’re already a species. Nobody knows what your DNA is going to do but there’s probably not enough time left before the end of the universe for that to happen.

Fast forward to gas station:

Black Guy 1: It’s a beautiful day! Praise Jesus!
Black Guy 2: I don’t believe in Jesus.
Uncomfortable silence...
Black Guy 2: What? Do you think I’m going to get struck by lightning?
M: Stand your ground dude. Stand your ground.
Black Guy 2: Yeah!

Listened to This Nation’s Saving Grace, Nashville Skyline, and The Other Side of Abbey Road at work today. Three great records.

thats why i go to the self checktout

robots dont ask questions about what ya eat

The Batlord · 05-06-2019, 04:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OccultHawk

Went to the grocery store after work:

Cashier: You gonna eat this chicken for lunch or give it to me?
Me: You can have a piece, bro, but your fingers will get greasy.
C: What came first the chicken or the egg?
M: The Egg. The chicken evolved from something else that was also hatched in an egg.
C: How did that happen?
M: Radiation from the sun mutated the DNA.
Incredibly Cute Bagger Girl: It took a million years.
C: So if I stand in the sun will I turn into a mermaid?
M: No, you’re already a species. Nobody knows what your DNA is going to do but there’s probably not enough time left before the end of the universe for that to happen.

Y'all some idiots.

OccultHawk · 05-06-2019, 04:23 PM

Last time I went to self checkout I couldn’t get a couple items to scan so I just stole them.

Is it always easy to steal **** using self checkout?

Mindy · 05-06-2019, 04:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OccultHawk

Last time I went to self checkout I couldn’t get a couple items to scan so I just stole them.

Is it always easy to steal **** using self checkout?

come on fam

just be normal and pay for the ****? lol

Blank. · 05-06-2019, 04:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OccultHawk

Last time I went to self checkout I couldn’t get a couple items to scan so I just stole them.

Is it always easy to steal **** using self checkout?

Lol. I refuse to use self checkout. It's just another way for the corporations to phase out humans and not pay people.

OccultHawk · 05-06-2019, 05:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Blank.

Lol. I refuse to use self checkout. It's just another way for the corporations to phase out humans and not pay people.

They don’t pay. I don’t pay.

OccultHawk · 05-06-2019, 05:24 PM

https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.the...rticle/550940/

Quote:

CRIMINAL TENDENCIES
The Banana Trick and Other Acts of Self-Checkout Thievery
“Anyone who pays for more than half of their stuff in self checkout is a total moron.”

Edit: they actually expect people to **** with typing a numerical code

lol you put it on the thing if it doesn’t scan that’s their fault

Mindy · 05-06-2019, 05:52 PM

target has a camera right above you on their self checkouts though and says "unknown item in basket" when you dont scan.. they can get ya. you're probably thinking of walmarts maybe or somewhere else? target might not have that technology in every location also.

OccultHawk · 05-06-2019, 06:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mindfulness

target has a camera right above you on their self checkouts though and says "unknown item in basket" when you dont scan.. they can get ya. your probably thinking of walmarts maybe or somewhere else? target might not have that technology in every location also.

I definitely want to steal. I feel like it’s wrong not to steal tbh. It’s cheating yourself. It’s so ****ing easy to steal from work that I think maybe they have cameras I can’t see or something. Recently, I haven’t been stealing from work because I’m thinking it couldn’t really be this easy. There must be something I don’t know. Do people really not steal because they think it’s wrong? That’s almost impossible for me to wrap my head around.

05-06-2019, 03:52 PM	#61501 (permalink)
OccultHawk one-balled nipple jockey Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Dirty Souf Biatch Posts: 22,006	Went to the grocery store after work: Cashier: You gonna eat this chicken for lunch or give it to me? Me: You can have a piece, bro, but your fingers will get greasy. C: What came first the chicken or the egg? M: The Egg. The chicken evolved from something else that was also hatched in an egg. C: How did that happen? M: Radiation from the sun mutated the DNA. Incredibly Cute Bagger Girl: It took a million years. C: So if I stand in the sun will I turn into a mermaid? M: No, you’re already a species. Nobody knows what your DNA is going to do but there’s probably not enough time left before the end of the universe for that to happen. Fast forward to gas station: Black Guy 1: It’s a beautiful day! Praise Jesus! Black Guy 2: I don’t believe in Jesus. Uncomfortable silence... Black Guy 2: What? Do you think I’m going to get struck by lightning? M: Stand your ground dude. Stand your ground. Black Guy 2: Yeah! Listened to This Nation’s Saving Grace, Nashville Skyline, and The Other Side of Abbey Road at work today. Three great records. __________________ 2016 2017 2018 2019 2020 Member of the Year & Journal of the Year Champion Behold the Writing of THE LEGEND: https://www.musicbanter.com/members-...p-lighter.html

05-06-2019, 04:23 PM	#61504 (permalink)
OccultHawk one-balled nipple jockey Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Dirty Souf Biatch Posts: 22,006	Last time I went to self checkout I couldn’t get a couple items to scan so I just stole them. Is it always easy to steal **** using self checkout? __________________ 2016 2017 2018 2019 2020 Member of the Year & Journal of the Year Champion Behold the Writing of THE LEGEND: https://www.musicbanter.com/members-...p-lighter.html

05-06-2019, 05:52 PM	#61509 (permalink)
Mindy ask me about cosmology Join Date: Oct 2016 Location: Milky Way Galaxy Posts: 9,045	target has a camera right above you on their self checkouts though and says "unknown item in basket" when you dont scan.. they can get ya. you're probably thinking of walmarts maybe or somewhere else? target might not have that technology in every location also. __________________ https://www.instagram.com/shhons_meme_agency Last edited by Mindy; 05-06-2019 at 06:21 PM.