So what are you gonna do if elph’s girl calls when we’re in Denver and he’s like sorry guys? You wish him well and soldier on. What else can you do?

Yeah, I don't read your posts.

I'll punch him in the ****ing face and then drive down to meet his girlfriend that's what I'll do. Or catch a bus with you I guess. After punching him in the face. At least I'll be gone from Portsmouth ****ing Virginia.

I wish I knew what OH looked like so I could envision this trio in a van in my mind.

Late 80’s I think. Had to be because I remember never getting carded so I wasn’t 21 yet. Lived in Flatbush near Flatbush station on Flatbush ave actually

The building I stayed in wasn’t zoned for residential so there was no phone mail or trash pick up. The first floor had this bar that was just like this working class bar except occasionally there’d be one girl stripping on the bar. Just one. Like it wasn’t like a strip bar at all. I think they just let her strip if she felt like it. To get into where we lived you had to open one of those giant metal sheets that businesses use when they’re closed. There was one shower and ****ter and one minute in some ****er would be banging on the door. Place had rats and roaches like crazy.

I also found out why NYC was so filthy back then. We had to sneak our trash out in the middle of the night and just toss it wherever. One time a garbage truck was passing by and I tried to toss it in and they were like $5 lol so I dumped it on the ground right in front of them. They were like ya ****n ******* all New York accent.

I had a bunch of crazy experiences in that short time. One thing I learned is that NY is way better than most of the country about being the only white person around. I think I mentioned this before but whenever I was the only white person left on the subway almost every time some old black dude would strike up a friendly conversation.

Not gonna lie I'm really hoping for an easy out to get me across country and out of here whether or not it's the best choice but I'm absolutely down. If someone shows up on my doorstep and takes me away I'm going absolutely. But if you two end up in some place and send me the address then I can deal with that. But if OH wants to follow me and elph on our dip**** roadtrip then that's what's up as well.

don't be so scared of the world, sometimes you have to take a leap. the worst that can happen is you die.

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/DWaQtAPzZm8/hqdefault.jpg

Except this is the actual destination.

Once I took a cab to a party by myself. This was in BedStuy and a friend of mine had another friend who I didn't know who was throwing a party. Well, the cabbie misheard me when I gave him the address and dropped me off three streets away from where I was supposed to be going. Three streets in BedStuy is like another world. I got dropped off right in front of a group of dudes chilling on a stoop. I was the only white guy. There was like fifteen dudes on this empty street and me. I'll never forget stepping out of the car, seeing them, them seeing me, and everyone just started cracking up. They asked me where I was supposed to be because it wasn't here and I said there was a party a few streets over. They said if it was cool, come back and get them. Long story short, the party sucked so I ended up getting drunk, grabbing a bunch of beers, and walking back to that stoop and hanging out with those dudes for like two hours.

F*ck that was a great night. But, yeah, there's plenty of spots out here where race matters, but most of the city is just one giant "you're in this sh*t just like the rest of us" mindset. I love it.

I can't help being scared. Change scares the **** out of me. I think I'd be mad good at being in a concentration camp so long as I had someone to teach me the ropes cause I'm just so hardwired to deal with whatever thing I'm living in. Which is why I don't know why I'm also so hardwired to challenge authority to its face. They're too very at odds instincts that do not make sense together and that is one very big reason why I'm stuck in my mother's house at this age but can't keep a job.