At least you're self aware.

It was really nuts but like in the most lucid way

Was it scary?

I find satire to be rather important for mental health exercise. it keeps the tension below the belt. I try to practice teaching this to people as a means to combat the pressures of life and things like clinical depression. Some get it, some don't, it all depends on the person. My last couple days at my retail job, I've been training this 71 year old woman that's a painter whom I work with. The lady is computer illiterate, but artistically, she's kind of the definition of "all things: go." Only she probably doesn't even realize it. She's humbled in her age, much like I'd like to be. The old woman seems somewhat lonely. She's told me that she has a difficult time connecting with people of her own age because she can't relate to them in the local area due to being from a more financially conservative state and then in her peak years of 20-40, living abroad and struggling to survive.It's rare that I'm properly challenged by my my own interpretation of the Creative Spark, but when the opportunity comes, I do not squander the potential for a lesson in life. The old woman probably just needs some friends...I can relate, I spend the majority of my own time alone. I suggested a few local establishments to get her art showcased at, as I honestly believe that she's the best in the area, and this is my hometown. I haven't seen paintings like hers by local artists with such detail in...thereabouts of 17 or 18 years. The last, was a local playwright...the old man died alone, in his studio apartment with his parrot...the old man was the baby in the baby carriage, in the original black and white cuts of The Little Rascals.

just dont get all joe rogan on us

Would you recommend it and has it changed your view on death at all, are you more at peace with it and that sort of thing. Hope its OK to ask.

When workplace drama doesn't go your way it's the worst, but when it does it's fan-****ing-tastic. This manager **** who seems to hate me even more than I hate her used to do the schedule but so many people have been complaining to the district manager about how she does it that she got it taken away from her and now she. Is. Pissed. Well maybe you shouldn't have been a lazy **** who'd give herself all the shifts she wanted, spend half your time in the office doing **** all, and then ignore every single request for a day off from her employees all while trying to throw shade on any employee she doesn't like (and no I am not just talking about myself). Now you look like a basic bitch and I get to feel the best feeling in all the universe: schadenfreude.

I optimally choose to be a badass at my job with or without proper compensation. It exploits the ego of upper management to my advantage, thus usurping the axis of power if properly managed by myself through a long enough time period. Eventually, I destroyed a 17.5 Million Dollar per year distribution company by doing this as a manager. I did it by getting into the dirt and rolling with the grime that my staff had to suffer through. I taught them how to do their jobs more efficiently, and how to protect their own business assets by working together, rather than against each other competitively. Cesarean Complex #1: if you divide a persons objective by their ego, you don't lose...and that is exactly what I did to the C/F/O and C/E/O. It is easy to raise an army against an autocracy or dictatorship. I will wager on the estimated world population being around 7,8000,000,000 and most business managers and/or small-time business owners not knowing their ass from a whole in the ground when it comes to these factors. Therefore: Be a hardass in the grind system, work your best, get your references and experiences on your resume, badababing, badababoom, and you're pretty much done. The rest will sell itself within whatever social market there is that be after about 4 or 6 years of choosing to not suck at your job.

It sounds like you've put a lot of thought into rationalizing being a crazy manic anti-social perfectionist.

I've put a lot of thought into debunking narcissism, is what it is. If that makes me a crazy maniac anti-social perfectionist despite the fact that I'm a misanthropic introvert, I'm honestly okay with that. I self-identify with that which is the formless, shapeless, and unknown that gnaws at the back of the mind of a person. If that is perceived as perfection to a person, I would beg to differ. Perfection does not exist, it is the dream, the illusion of narcissism. I appreciate the exercise of E-Prime, because it depersonalizes the modern English language.