You should sabotage and possibly kill the competition.

In Canada that means taking their parking space.

Rough night and rough morning mixed with a pretty big hit of depression. It's gonna be a long day. Feeling more alone today than most days. Eh.

Just remember, you'll die alone too. So it all evens out for everyone.

That is indeed a true statement. Something to look forward to!

Listen to your 10 favorite albums if possible. Might help.

But you can change your fate. Think outside the box and die with others like Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold.

As a totally forced interjection, I'd just like to point out that the best use of the phrase "we all die alone" ever is in the second part of this track:

(jump to 3:57 for the especially cool part!)

Crisis - Secrets of the prison house

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YCvDktOmJD0

This song always makes me feel better when I'm down :)

I feel like crawling in a hole and dying now.

We're hosting an open mic at the shop in a few weeks. A dude just came in and saw the flyer and asked if he can do some freestyling rap. I said it's an open mic and he's more than welcome to do whatever. He's a middle aged white dude.

Ten minutes later, I thought he left, I was talking across the room to my boss that...

"I hope that rap guy doesn't come because I get really cringed out when people freestyle for some reason. Especially if it's bad. I hope the guy is good, he could end up being really good, but like even professional freestylers make me cringe hard for some reason. It's like that feeling when you watch a really awkward episode of the Office but it's when people rap in front of me."

Silence.

I look up. White rap dude didn't leave. He's standing right there. I almost exploded and my phase into a walking talking ironic cringe machine had finished. Only thing I said before he left was "well, I hope you uhhhhhh prove me wrong, man".

F*ck.

Well if it's any consolation, that's really hilarious.