I'm a cool motherf*cker. I walk up to the tee, cigarette hanging in my mouth like Jackie Brown, toss that lit bitch on the tee, walk up, crack a slice into the woods, pick up that bogie and waltz my ass back to the cart on my way to a double bogie.

I'm an even cooler mother ****er, I don't golf.

Do you get high at posh clubs?

I've actually never done cocaine.

Like intentionally slice into the woods and then come out five minutes later stankin'?

No need to walk in the woods if we're just smoking. The courses I golf at almost beg for it.

I mean the richie rich ones where Donald Trump brings his illegal immigrant caddies.

Trust me, ain't nothing cool about golf.

@zealots I'm good on all forms of golf thanks

He's just mad he can barely walk after his stepping-off-a-curb injury.

I'd gladly break my ankle again if I could kick a golfer.