Why the **** do you stay in the south? You moved from Florida to ****ing Texas. Why not head north? I swear people down here are so ****ed in the head that we can't leave.

I never got bullied in all my time in middle school and high school despite being a fat loser. I owe it all to my incredible charisma and charming demeanor. But I guess maybe, if we're really stretching it, it's cause I didn't really go to that bad of schools. Country bumpkin youth are less likely to beat the everloving **** out of you at the drop of a hat, I guess.

I got bullied kinda but it's hard to parse what was unjustified bullying and what was a reaction to me being an angry **** with a big mouth. I'm sure none of you can imagine.

I wasn't bullied. I was tall and had facial hair and a deep voice before most of the other kids so I guess I would have made for a more intimidating target. And I got along with most people—except the teachers. Plus, I think my school was just not as bad in the bullying department as a lot of other schools.

Neither was mine, but I challenged the douchebags to come out of their shells with my jibes.

my school only had a hundred kids in it, and most of us had been going to school together our entire lives. my experience was less like bullying and more like siblings just ****ing with each other.

Except those siblings would have informed on you to the Nazis?

in a second

I hated my school years. Took me years afterwards to become a person that doesn't just sit and hide silently in the background. I don't know how I managed to get back on foot, but these days, I'm pretty cool with speaking to human beings. 15 years ago I was a sentient, soft spoken clam shell.

This one kid I knew had a cast on his leg and during lunch one of his friends forced him on top of an ant hill until fire ants crawled inside his cast. The kid with ants in his cast tried to play it off like it was no big deal but he had a terrible look of anguish on his face. The bully kid is all born again now. I saw his Facebook. Jesus this. Jesus that. He had a half pipe skateboard ramp in his front yard. I remember we were skating and listening to Frank Zappa (maybe Joe’s Garage) and this one kid was mocking Zappa all through the record while he was skating and it was so funny. We took a lot of drugs. You had to keep your guard up with those guys but they always had coke and ecstasy and mushrooms and weed and acid. God we did some crazy ****ing ****.