Both of them are on deez nutz

Touchdown!!!

Why don't you all shut the **** up and let the joke land?

I almost forgot, yesterday I got someone with devein and grabbed my testicles with such violence that I hurt myself. I played it off and it was worth it.

I’m proud of you, son.

Was on a sushi date that I was ready to shell out on today when the sushi chef started screaming at the manager in Spanish and threw a bunch food and bowls at him. I think he quit or was fired in the process because it lasted less than 5 minutes, but the manager said that our meal was on the house for the inconvenience. Hooray for mental breakdowns! Might have one myself one day.

Did he mess something up or did he just flip a tit out of the blue?

I tried to get Chad with it but he didn't get it

I went disc golfing with a friend and got him with it today. I also got him with tulips after having got him with it like a year ago and it was still just as good.

Either break up with him or ask him if he plants tulips.