Get a dog, man. My dog gives me comfort everyday. The only bad things about dogs is they get old and die too ****ing fast. It’s intense how you witness your own aging and death in dogs. Time has been ****ing me up this week. Death is so discomforting.

One of the biggest mind ****s of being a human is routinely going back and forth between being scared of death and wishing for it.

I'm doing really good mentally this year, but I'm still sometimes thinking that's it would be kind of nice to just be done with it all for good.

Like you're intellectually aware that there's a lot of anguish to go with a little joy. At least in the larger scope of things, that's what it seems like.

I've never really been suicidal but I feel that way from time to time. Life's pretty exhausting and not doing that sounds pretty easy.

Who the **** wrote that?

That’s ****ing brilliant!

I don't wanna make it sound like I'm contemplating suicide either. Just a feeling sometimes that life is, as you said, exhausting. Like I just want to close my eyes and sleep forever.

Then I snap out of it and move on. But it's a recurring thought.

Good post




Life gets more and more exhausting. You hit that half century and it’s like goddamn this one long ass crazy story.

I mean I know there’s no story arc but to me it feels sort of like I’m a character in a novel (probably by Tolstoy)

Very Bad Wizards did a show saying that some people are more inclined to the story arc version of themselves and others just accept the present as the only you that exists. I live like the latter but think like the former if that makes any sense.

Yeah

I want to discuss it with people but it always sounds suicidal

With me it’s like 60% ready to go 30% afraid of it 10% suicidal

***old man river***

Love that song

That is a good song. Laugh if you want, but I love the way it was used in Joe vs the Volcano.

ATM we got sick cats in the house and having dogs wouldn't be fair to them, but in a few years perhaps.

I often think about how nice it would be to not have to deal with all this **** but it doesn't stick. I like drinking, I like playing video games, I like listening to music, I like reading books, I like reading comic books, I like saying ****ty things to other people that makes them angry at me, and all of that legitimately makes me okay with living. I guess some people need to accomplish crazy things and be President of the United States but I just am okay with filling my day with silly things that make each day some kind of fun. It's not an inspiring life but it's my life and I'm willing to live it.

Some people might need to prove their worth to the human race with every day of their life but I am not one of those people and those people tend to commit genocide so who cares? All I do is listen to Venom and they (not Venom) murder Jews. What exactly am I doing wrong?

I'd love to not have to do this anymore but the thought of never doing anything anymore is the worst thought ever. I'll take whatever day comes to me so long as I'm not hooked up to an oxygen tank.