I **** my pants in elementary school. And I chose to wear white shorts that day.

A true tactician.

I knew a girl who did that. We made fun of her. I'm sure you can relate.

It was a fun day at school

People in the classroom kept saying they could smell **** and I just stayed quiet.

Did it stain through to your shorts? I mean I'd have just tossed the underwear and went commando. NGL I've had to do that.

Why the **** do you stay in the south? You moved from Florida to ****ing Texas. Why not head north? I swear people down here are so ****ed in the head that we can't leave.

I never got bullied in all my time in middle school and high school despite being a fat loser. I owe it all to my incredible charisma and charming demeanor. But I guess maybe, if we're really stretching it, it's cause I didn't really go to that bad of schools. Country bumpkin youth are less likely to beat the everloving **** out of you at the drop of a hat, I guess.

I got bullied kinda but it's hard to parse what was unjustified bullying and what was a reaction to me being an angry **** with a big mouth. I'm sure none of you can imagine.

I wasn't bullied. I was tall and had facial hair and a deep voice before most of the other kids so I guess I would have made for a more intimidating target. And I got along with most people—except the teachers. Plus, I think my school was just not as bad in the bullying department as a lot of other schools.