Your Day

**Frownland** · 11-26-2018, 10:29 PM

Went to the DMV for an appointment that I made in June. Shot the **** with some tweaker lady while I waited who told me about Ukraine before she came to America. I think. She was hard to understand with all of those missing teeth. Went on the train later and almost missed it because it was a later train than I usually take and I misread the schedule. Made it though. Went to the store for some lettuce for my lunch and I guess that someone shat all over the romaine again because the whole salad section was stripped dry. I could give a **** about some e coli dude, I just wanna eat healthy. Grabbed a beer at this place next door to the store and ate some of their terrible terrible chicken alfredo. Thank god it was cheap because yuck dude. This car blew through a red light and almost hit me on my way home. When I got home, grabbed a beer and a water then went to my room. I was setting my coat down when I dropped my beer. Usually when I drop a beer it'll just bounce and puncture in one small spot, but it hit my dresser right on the side of the can and exploded. I grabbed it before it entirely spilled out all over my **** and shotgunned it because party bro. Then I masturbated to the thought of elphenor failing at his speech before heading to the other room play guitar for about 30 minutes and goddamn was that a good jam. Grabbed another beer and heated up some of the chicken alfredo that I took home.

OccultHawk · 11-27-2018, 02:49 PM

I used to be super sensitive to caffeine now it's like it actually puts me asleep. I’ll drink 5 cups of coffee or more and still nothing. My tolerance is too high.

Plankton · 11-27-2018, 04:43 PM

Just imagine everyone giving you a blowjob.

OccultHawk · 11-27-2018, 04:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Plankton

Just imagine everyone giving you a blowjob.

I’m sure they’ll all be imagining the same thing.

Plankton · 11-27-2018, 04:56 PM

Everybody wins

The Batlord · 11-27-2018, 06:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by elphenor

almost speech time I'm so scurred

Just remember that while you're terrified everyone else is going to be bored as ****.

Zhanteimi · 11-27-2018, 06:06 PM

Too true. I gave a speech at my friend's wedding last weekend and knew to keep it short because nobody actually cares. I think my speech clocked in at a minute and a half.

The Batlord · 11-27-2018, 06:13 PM

You probably could have cut it down if you weren't being such a chatty Cathy.

**Frownland** · 11-27-2018, 06:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Zhanteimi

knew to keep it short because nobody actually cares.

Instead of projecting your own inadequacies onto your audience(s), have you considered working on your public speaking skills?

Zhanteimi · 11-27-2018, 06:15 PM

My public speaking skills are just fine. Hence the 90-second speech. It was just the toast, and I knew if I just told a quick, funny anecdote, it would go over well.

So kindly fuck off.

11-26-2018, 10:29 PM	#57401 (permalink)
Frownland SOPHIE FOREVER Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: East of the Southern North American West Posts: 35,541	Went to the DMV for an appointment that I made in June. Shot the ** with some tweaker lady while I waited who told me about Ukraine before she came to America. I think. She was hard to understand with all of those missing teeth. Went on the train later and almost missed it because it was a later train than I usually take and I misread the schedule. Made it though. Went to the store for some lettuce for my lunch and I guess that someone shat all over the romaine again because the whole salad section was stripped dry. I could give a about some e coli dude, I just wanna eat healthy. Grabbed a beer at this place next door to the store and ate some of their terrible terrible chicken alfredo. Thank god it was cheap because yuck dude. This car blew through a red light and almost hit me on my way home. When I got home, grabbed a beer and a water then went to my room. I was setting my coat down when I dropped my beer. Usually when I drop a beer it'll just bounce and puncture in one small spot, but it hit my dresser right on the side of the can and exploded. I grabbed it before it entirely spilled out all over my ** and shotgunned it because party bro. Then I masturbated to the thought of elphenor failing at his speech before heading to the other room play guitar for about 30 minutes and goddamn was that a good jam. Grabbed another beer and heated up some of the chicken alfredo that I took home. __________________ Studies show that when a given norm is changed in the face of the unchanging, the remaining contradictions will parallel the truth. d e a f b o x

11-27-2018, 02:49 PM	#57402 (permalink)
OccultHawk one-balled nipple jockey Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Dirty Souf Biatch Posts: 22,006	I used to be super sensitive to caffeine now it's like it actually puts me asleep. I’ll drink 5 cups of coffee or more and still nothing. My tolerance is too high. __________________ 2016 2017 2018 2019 2020 Member of the Year & Journal of the Year Champion Behold the Writing of THE LEGEND: https://www.musicbanter.com/members-...p-lighter.html

11-27-2018, 04:43 PM	#57403 (permalink)
Plankton Just Keep Swimming... Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: See signature... Posts: 7,765	Just imagine everyone giving you a blowjob. __________________ See location...

11-27-2018, 04:56 PM	#57405 (permalink)
Plankton Just Keep Swimming... Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: See signature... Posts: 7,765	Everybody wins __________________ See location...

11-27-2018, 06:06 PM	#57407 (permalink)
Zhanteimi Mord Join Date: Oct 2014 Location: Tokyo Posts: 4,873	Too true. I gave a speech at my friend's wedding last weekend and knew to keep it short because nobody actually cares. I think my speech clocked in at a minute and a half. __________________ Zhanteimi LetsTalkMusic

11-27-2018, 06:15 PM	#57410 (permalink)
Zhanteimi Mord Join Date: Oct 2014 Location: Tokyo Posts: 4,873	My public speaking skills are just fine. Hence the 90-second speech. It was just the toast, and I knew if I just told a quick, funny anecdote, it would go over well. So kindly fuck off. __________________ Zhanteimi LetsTalkMusic