Be more like me. Everyone either hates me, begrudgingly tolerates me, or fondly tolerates me. But nobody thinks I'm a normie.

Just ask her if she does butt stuff

Her friend pretty clearly indicated she does.

Ah, if weird stuff is just butt stuff tell her and her friend that they be prudes.

But she needs to know that he knows, else doomed to buttless sex is he.

Is her friend open to you butt ****ing her?

Don't worry, it's entertaining to everyone but you.

In all seriousness, **** happens. Stick around but don't be that creep trying to break her relationship. Worst case scenario, find a single girl and convince her to dye her hair blue and don a vest that you stole from work.

Male heterosexual possessiveness is a manifestation of misogyny.

It means deep down you think you have the right to own a woman.

You're making this too complicated. **** boyfriends, posturing, and all that ****.

Let me simplify it for you.

Just show up to work in a *** stained Cab Volt shirt. If her pants haven't already flown off by the time you reach her desk, she isn't the one.