Sorry to hear that.

Not as close as I'd like to have been.


I had adream last night that I was running into the end bedroom of my other grandma's trailor and my aunt's from this side of the family were all in there.

The last time I was in my [now deceased] grandmother's trailor, all of those aunts were in there just like that.

Not a 100% accurate depiction [seeing as it was the other grandma's trailor], but still enough to make me be like WTF when I got the news.

I feel this. I have points where I'll literally refuse to hangout with people because my anxiety makes me a complete mess. I apologize to my friends for having to deal with it, they say it's ok, but I know that it's not because even I get annoyed with myself. As far as depression goes, I've become so comfortable with it that I just don't give a ****. Life will be life whether I like it or not. That, and my motivation is at an all time low. All I do is work, go home, repeat. Some hangout in between but I'll refuse to go out friends if I can tell that the day is not going well for my own mental health.

Thank you to everyone for the condolences. And for everyone who is like "why are you on an internet message board when your granny just died?!," it's because she lived in a different town and her body is on its way to a different state to be cremated and buried, and I don't have transportation at the moment to go be with family, many of whom also live out of state.

I don’t think anyone was thinking that. It’s normal to carry on with your routines. It’s also normal not to. I don’t think anyone here is interested in being the grief police.

My grandma passed away a few years ago now and it's still something I think about. She was anorexic for a pretty good portion of her life so it was tough when she went. I of course went to the funeral. It was the first time I'd ever seen a post-life body. It was beautifully terrifying in a good way. She was a good person to and I imagine the same can be said for you. Sorry for your loss man. That can be tough especially if you guys were close.

It's just that sadness / death guilt because you're still alive and they aren't sinking in :(

I'm sorry for your loss. The last time that I went drinking at the local bar I met a mortician. He wanted me to write a book about his life and experiences.

This may sound ridiculous but I am so ****ing sick of sunshine

Today was so boss it rained cool rain all day and I had off work so I could enjoy it

But now my phone weather app is like all next week sunshine still getting into the ****ing 80’s

I am not overstating this at all. I would love to never see sunshine again. ****ing hate direct sunlight. It’s driving me insane. Goddamn I hate Florida

What about those first days of spring when the leaves are so bright and green that they defy logic and the world feels happy?

It's all good. I've experienced loss quite a number of times so I don't really find it too surprising when it happens. Perks of getting older but...I have young parents so fortunately I won't have to worry about that unless something catastrophic happens. Don't know what I'll do when I lose parents.