top kek

I just killed the biggest roach in Florida

I’m not squeamish- but this was a mind****

GET OUT OF MY ****ING APARTMENT YOU FREAKISH HORRIFYING MONSTERS

Bruh we don't got that **** in VA. We don't got toxic algae blooms either. Why are you still there?

If I move I’m going west

A friend from college was saying she can get me job in a blood lab (not drug testing either)

It’s part of the university’s medical center / if I could work around tuition I’d love a hard science degree

When I got my teaching degree a got grants that equaled a full scholarship and a stipend generous enough to live modestly on

I just found out a friend of mine fell off his roof today and died on the way to the hospital.

**** today.

Oof. Sorry, man.

Thank you. It feels like a sick joke.

Ya, so sorry.

Was hungover and an hour late for work but it's all good cause my co-worker was there to greet me with a blunt.

So I went to a family party yesterday. It was one in the morning, so technically this happened today.

My soon to be sister-in-law walked around the corner and some guy off the street starts talking to her.

"Does the property cut through?"

"No, it doesnt."

"I'm going to cut through"

"No, you're not allowed on this property."

Man approaches my sister-in-law and says, "it's ok, I'm a cop."

"You're still not allowed on the property."

"It's ok I'm a cop."

That's when I and my brother showed up around the corner and he began to back off the property. We walked down to tell him to leave. At m which point he pushed my brother and struck me. Before I know it, we're chasing the guy down the street to hold him down waiting for the police to arrive.

Guy was not a cop if you're wondering.