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09-07-2018, 04:05 PM | #55301 (permalink) | |
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Aalborg
Posts: 7,634
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Quote:
Got an admission to make that might offend Americans. I chuckled at a "1 minute of silence" event at the high school I was at back in 2001, just the same day as the 9/11 attacks. Everyone was all quiet and staring into the floor. Except this guy standing a bit away from me. He was trying to eat an apple really quietly, but you could hear that slow motion crunch so clearly. Just too absurd to bear, so I laughed and everyone gave me this stare that made me feel like a giant *******. |
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09-07-2018, 04:08 PM | #55302 (permalink) | ||
Zum Henker Defätist!!
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Beating GNR at DDR and keying Axl's new car
Posts: 48,199
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Quote:
There's no way possible that I would have been integrated into the family in a normal way cause... I couldn't have been. There's a reason I'm the black sheep of the family. There are members of the family who are like me in their anti-functionality, but I am absolutely the hopeless one.
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09-07-2018, 04:13 PM | #55303 (permalink) |
one-balled nipple jockey
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Dirty Souf Biatch
Posts: 22,006
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The best thing I ever did was cut the poisonous family members out of my life. Unless it works for me **** a family member. I ain’t got time for sentimentality.
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09-07-2018, 04:16 PM | #55304 (permalink) | |
one-balled nipple jockey
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Dirty Souf Biatch
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09-07-2018, 04:20 PM | #55306 (permalink) | |||
Zum Henker Defätist!!
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Beating GNR at DDR and keying Axl's new car
Posts: 48,199
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Quote:
The idea of laughing at getting hit is oddly empowering. I feel like I didn't get hit enough to justify how ****ed up I am. But if I'd suffered through what my mother and her siblings did I'd have something to fight against and be able to shove my face into his face to act as a panacea to my fear. But now I just feel like I kinda got the shaft but not enough to justify how I feel right now. Quote:
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09-07-2018, 04:29 PM | #55307 (permalink) | |
Zum Henker Defätist!!
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Beating GNR at DDR and keying Axl's new car
Posts: 48,199
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I hide in my own world and do the least possible because that's all I can handle. I don't even know how much this is because of my family's toxic influence or how much this is because I didn't have so many of my family that my relatives did to shock me into being something I never wanted to be. I have several family members who I think legit would be better off living in that isolated island I want to live on where we got island time and no expectations on us to make us miserable. But I got family members who may or may not be the same but maybe all the blows to the face short circuited them so that they became legit successful people and the abuse was somehow ****ing better for them. Man, I don't know. I think I was definitely born in the wrong family. I wasn't meant to be exposed to so many A-type personalities.
I will never have children. Never. And if I **** up and do then I'll probably have a mental breakdown from the pressure of being nothing like my family. My best defense against this is simply to end my DNA strand.
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09-07-2018, 04:30 PM | #55308 (permalink) |
one-balled nipple jockey
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Dirty Souf Biatch
Posts: 22,006
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Is that aimed at me?
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09-07-2018, 04:30 PM | #55309 (permalink) |
Just Keep Swimming...
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: See signature...
Posts: 7,765
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I was always resentful of my Stepdad, which most kids are of their replacement parents, but I had a lot of good reasons, and him trying to punish me in that way was just so over-the-top and comical that I had to use that reaction, which was my coping mechanism at the time.
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09-07-2018, 04:33 PM | #55310 (permalink) | |
Just Keep Swimming...
Join Date: Apr 2012
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Posts: 7,765
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Quote:
Naw dog, was just being lazy and not quoting.
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