Yep

You successfully mocked my argument style

You’re funny

Not weird funny but haha funny

There are more drunk drivers not causing problems than drunk drivers causing problems imo. Still not a good idea, but I'd be more confident in those stats than drunk driving=manslaughter. The D.A.R.E campaign is to deter folks who don't know their limits.

Source: I'm drunk right now.

the baby i nanny had surgery a week ago so all this week during recovery his mom has stayed home in addition to me coming in for my usual hours. i was kind of dreading it bc no one likes to work directly with their boss, but it's actually been great. i fell asleep with the kids while putting them down for nap this afternoon and when i woke up i was super embarrassed and apologetic only to find she had fallen asleep in her office as well.

tl;dr got paid to take a nap

That's even better than getting paid to take a ****.

Had a scare yesterday. Woke up and felt weird. It was hard to breath and I had numbness in my left arm and was light-headed. Called 911 [emergency]. EMT's administered aspirin and nitro-glycerin. My blood pressure was 188/136 and pulse 160+, so they bussed me to the hospital, with my 8-year old son in tow [he took it like a champ]. Did a a bunch of tests. It wasn't a heart attack or stroke [blood clot]. They don't know what caused it. I have to follow up with a stress test.

**** dude. Glad you're okay. Hope it wasn't anything too serious.

My dad has survived 6 heart attacks and high blood pressure has been frequent on my mom's side. I for real thought I was gonna die.

My reading comprehension is fine.

Are you going into hiding?

Dafuq kinda question is that? LOL