Chula Vista

nasty flashback alert!

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“The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well,
on the surface of a gas covered planet going around a nuclear fireball 90 million miles away
and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be.”

Chula Vista

So, awesome Italian place right across the street. Been there the last 3 days working my way through their menu. Killer, so far.

Walked in today and was greeted by a spectacular long haired young blond. (let me preface by saying it's so much easier to flirt with girls if you have no physical intentions)

After I was seated for a bit and placed my order I decided to add a spicy Bloody Mary. (where the hell did that name derive from?) Walk up to the bar, order, and then tell her I think her hair is beautiful. (it really is). She gushes and says "thanks".

Then ask her if it's all hers. Hair extensions have been the major rave for many years now. She very proudly proclaims it's all her. She's been working on it for many, many years. Another compliment and a mention about the fact my kid owns a salon so I know about all that ****.

A little more chit chat and then I tell her about this:



Edit to 3:25 if you're impatient.

"You have so much fake hair, that if you commit a crime, the CSI lab would probably convict some Ukrainian girl."

She cracked up so bad I think she may have pissed herself a little bit. Bat, contain yourself.

It's the little things.

__________________

“The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well,
on the surface of a gas covered planet going around a nuclear fireball 90 million miles away
and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be.”

Neapolitan

All I wanna know wuz you flirtin with someone your wife's age or your daughter's age. “Enquiring minds want to know.”

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Chula Vista

Flirting is flirting. If you got the charisma, use it every chance you get.

__________________

“The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well,
on the surface of a gas covered planet going around a nuclear fireball 90 million miles away
and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be.”

Neapolitan

You should work on your lines though, like "You have so much fake hair, that if you commit a crime, the CSI lab would probably convict some mannequin." ... cause you know hair weaves are made from synthetic fibers. A little bit of funny can go a long way, and it would keep her from getting perturbed by your quip. Plus I don't know if insulting her about her hair is a good way of getting your foot in the door, but hey you're a self proclaim expert at this stuff. What do I know? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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Lucem Ferre

I had a similar experience when walking into the Blue Iguana and the gorgeous Mexican lady working up front said that my hair makes me look cute.

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Art Is Dead. Buy My ****.

Trollheart

I'm gonna go out on a limb and say the drink Bloody Mary was named after this wan


https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_I_of_England

Shoulda called her Bloody Ugly!

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Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

Chula Vista

I didn't insult her. She'd already told me her hair was 100% hers. Girls with real long hair kinda look down on girls who resort to extensions - that's why the joke was such a home run.

Probably 10 years younger than my daughter BTW.

Thanks Trolls. I knew there had to be a reference somewhere.

__________________

“The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well,
on the surface of a gas covered planet going around a nuclear fireball 90 million miles away
and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be.”

Ol’ Qwerty Bastard

she lied

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OccultHawk

Spanish is a sexy language.

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