The Batlord

Bro you're an old guy in a Winnebago and your nearest neighbors are weird old people and coyotes. Sit on your god damn soon-to-be-patio and chill in some comfortable ****ing shorts.

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Cuthbert

Well said Charles.

Chula Vista

I'm weighing options.

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“The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well,
on the surface of a gas covered planet going around a nuclear fireball 90 million miles away
and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be.”

Frownland

Or go all the way and sit out there in a thong like a real man.

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Studies show that when a given norm is changed in the face of the unchanging, the remaining contradictions will parallel the truth.

Janszoon

I spent a lot of time in Sligo and the Burren when I lived in Somerville. I'll never forget the time me and my friend ordered buttery nipples in Sligo and the old guy behind the bar just gave us two shots of sambuca.

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A Night in the Life of the Invisible Man

Time & Place

25 Albums You Should Hear Before the Moon Crashes into the Earth and We All Die

last.fm

The Batlord

And pump your crotch muscles whenever any middle age hotties walk by.

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Chula Vista

nasty flashback alert!

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“The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well,
on the surface of a gas covered planet going around a nuclear fireball 90 million miles away
and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be.”

Chula Vista

So, awesome Italian place right across the street. Been there the last 3 days working my way through their menu. Killer, so far.

Walked in today and was greeted by a spectacular long haired young blond. (let me preface by saying it's so much easier to flirt with girls if you have no physical intentions)

After I was seated for a bit and placed my order I decided to add a spicy Bloody Mary. (where the hell did that name derive from?) Walk up to the bar, order, and then tell her I think her hair is beautiful. (it really is). She gushes and says "thanks".

Then ask her if it's all hers. Hair extensions have been the major rave for many years now. She very proudly proclaims it's all her. She's been working on it for many, many years. Another compliment and a mention about the fact my kid owns a salon so I know about all that ****.

A little more chit chat and then I tell her about this:



Edit to 3:25 if you're impatient.

"You have so much fake hair, that if you commit a crime, the CSI lab would probably convict some Ukrainian girl."

She cracked up so bad I think she may have pissed herself a little bit. Bat, contain yourself.

It's the little things.

__________________

“The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well,
on the surface of a gas covered planet going around a nuclear fireball 90 million miles away
and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be.”

Neapolitan

All I wanna know wuz you flirtin with someone your wife's age or your daughter's age. “Enquiring minds want to know.”

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Chula Vista

Flirting is flirting. If you got the charisma, use it every chance you get.

__________________

“The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well,
on the surface of a gas covered planet going around a nuclear fireball 90 million miles away
and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be.”