Life is short. Get the dick.

That’s a reminder that you gotta take care of your lady.

Sometimes even if you work hard to please it she might get some strange

It’s human nature ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I think people make too much of it

Got an electric grill as a present from my mom, so I'm spending this sunny-ass sunday on the balcony, barbecuing, drinking beers and blasting some blues classics.
Nice.

My dog puked all over the apartment. He took a nice **** and piss on his morning walk however. He stinks!

i’m starting to think the dog is actually you

lol

My neighbors are like there’s that crazy drunk holding a leash around his neck ****ting in the bushes again.

:yikes:
For a moment I thought that read "got an electric girl as a present" and I was saying you lucky, lucky.... :laughing:
Is he sick? You taking him to the vet?
Yeah and the dog is as bad.

Then I guess I have a dog too.

He gets 24 hours to clear up before he goes to the vet.

He had a solid bowel movement.

Yeah look, I don't care if your dog is organising the local anarchist rally. Bowel movement? That doesn't prove anything. Why was he sick? I'd be off to the vet if I were you. Oh, and maybe get your dog looked at too, while you're there.