I'm sorry to hear that man. As everyone else on the forum has said as well, I'm here for you. That sucks.

Damnit

I’m trying to listen to classical music and my neighbor is blasting me out with bass heavy pop music.

In the spirit of cant beat join I’d go have a beer and smoke over there but I don’t feel like cleaning up and I’m too crusty for visitations.

She's in Tuscon, AZ staying with her brother who has a big house and free room and board. She took the cat and our dog Cali. Mojo is here with me and Mike. No hitting, no cheating, no third parties.

TL;DR - It's complicated

Two years ago our worlds got completely turned inside out. For the previous 18 years we'd worked at the same company with a bunch of people who we'd known the entire time. Attended weddings, watched each other's kids grow up, leaned on each other when times got rough, basically it was more like family than work.

Then BAM! It's all gone. Linda went from a cushy desk job making over $26 an hour to only being able to find a part time retail job busting her ass for minimum wage. And my salary has been cut by about 40%. We went from a nice sweet ride into the sunset of retirement to having to drain our savings every month just to make ends meet. Note: It's ****ing hard trying to find decent employment when you are in your mid 50s.

On top of that she's deep in the depths of menopause. Trust me, it's as ****ed up as you read about. Her emotions are all over the place. About 18 months ago I had a nervous breakdown over everything. I think she's in the midst of one now and just needed to run away for a while and her brother is providing a safe haven for the time being.

She'll be back. It's just a matter of time. My job is to give her all the space she needs right now and not to put even an ounce of pressure on her. I'm very close with her brother and he's let me know she's ok. He's in an uncomfortable situation so I'm not going to lean on him in any way either.

Hopefully, time heals all.

Chula, you're a really good person. You should know that.

.

yeah, echoing what Exo said. you’re a great father and husband, everything works itself out with time.

Yes, life after 50 is a little strange. Especially if what you've worked for your whole life crumbles before you. I can relate to what your wife is going through though. The regrets, the what-if's, all the things that have been sacrificed come flooding in at the most inconvenient times. It makes a person want to start over. Start from a clean slate with none of the baggage that has built up. The thing is, that baggage is us. We are what we've lived, and no matter how hard we try to escape it, it's like our shadow and it's not going anywhere. Your wife Linda just has to come to terms with it all, and hopefully find some sort of meaning that will provide a renewed purpose. Whether that purpose includes reliving old habits and reentering the same ruts that inevitably caused the breakdown is yet to be seen. There's probably a lot more to the story than what's on the surface here. I don't know, there's a whole slew of issues that eventually pull apart relationships that could be at work here. I can only say that I hope the best for you and everyone involved.

Nail. Meet hammer.

Thanks all.

At least you know your life won't turn into Kramer Vs. Kramer because at least your kids are out of the home...

You're right though, she'll come back. They always do.

Thanks for the laugh. So true though. Just watched that a few months ago. Gut wrenching flick.