Your Day

The Batlord · 10-04-2017, 07:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mord

My toilet is old and needs to be replaced. The plumber came by today and helped us choose a new toilet from a brochure. It's tankless, self-cleaning, and has a crapload of functions like ass washing and seat warming and whatnot. Comes out to $2300, including labor. He threw in some other features, like cushioned flooring for the bathroom, for free (he said it was because of the cuteness of our kids, but I think it's because I bought a $2300 toilet off him and paid in cash I had lying around the house).

Thanks for making my job easier.

Chula Vista · 10-04-2017, 08:23 AM

I've replaced all three toilets in my house myself. Total cost was less than $500.

1 - screwdriver
1 - adjustable wrench
1 - putty knife
3 - new wax rings.

Some folks blow cash on things they crap in. I'd rather buy another guitar.

Re: Ass washing. $1.79 at Wall-Mart.

Ol’ Qwerty Bastard · 10-04-2017, 09:42 AM

tbh that does sound like a ****ing awesome toilet.

Chula Vista · 10-04-2017, 10:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Qwertyy

tbh that does sound like a ****ing awesome toilet.

Reminds me of a joke.

This dude got to fly in premium deluxe first class one time and was amazed to see that they had both male and female toilets, instead of the normal unisex ones in coach.

He's got to take a dump real bad and notices a couple of guys waiting for the men's one but the women's one is vacant. So he quietly slips inside and locks the door.

After he's done he notices a series of buttons on the wall next to the commode. Curious, he pushes the one labeled WW.

A sudden mist of warm water rinses his butt. Nice! He then pushes the one labeled ST.

A soft tissue gently dries his rear end. Cool! He then pushes the one labeled PP.

A soft cotton puff proceeds to powders his ass. Sweet! Finally he pushes the one labeled ATR.

BAM!!!!! Everthing goes black. Hours later he wakes up in a hospital bed with a nurse standing by his side. She asks how he's feeling and then tells him they tried everything possible but were unsuccessful, and that they'd already set up counselling for when he was back on his feet.

Confused, he asks her what happened. She leans down and whispers in his ear.......

"That last button was the Automatic Tampon Remover."

Zhanteimi · 10-04-2017, 02:43 PM

.

Ol’ Qwerty Bastard · 10-04-2017, 02:43 PM

so is masturbation not a thing or...

Trollheart · 10-04-2017, 02:49 PM

Well you can all ignore it but I thought it was a good joke, Chula.
(That's the forum equivalent of the Black Spot, right? Endorsement from Trollheart = Death?)

The Batlord · 10-04-2017, 03:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mord

DIY isn't a thing in Japan.

Do it yourself doesn't involve the collective and is therefore frownlanded upon.

Trollheart · 10-04-2017, 05:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by The Batlord

Do it yourself doesn't involve the collective and is therefore frownlanded upon.

You dishonour your ancestors if you do it yourself, and their ghosts will come and haunt your house.

**Frownland** · 10-04-2017, 05:07 PM

When you say frownlanded I picture a sad wrestler body slamming someone.

10-04-2017, 08:23 AM	#46052 (permalink)
Chula Vista Toasted Poster Join Date: Oct 2014 Location: SoCal by way of Boston Posts: 11,332	I've replaced all three toilets in my house myself. Total cost was less than $500. 1 - screwdriver 1 - adjustable wrench 1 - putty knife 3 - new wax rings. Some folks blow cash on things they crap in. I'd rather buy another guitar. Re: Ass washing. $1.79 at Wall-Mart. __________________ “The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well, on the surface of a gas covered planet going around a nuclear fireball 90 million miles away and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be.” Last edited by Chula Vista; 10-04-2017 at 08:29 AM.

10-04-2017, 02:43 PM	#46055 (permalink)
Zhanteimi Mord Join Date: Oct 2014 Location: Tokyo Posts: 4,873	. __________________ Zhanteimi LetsTalkMusic Last edited by Zhanteimi; 12-05-2017 at 03:54 PM.

10-04-2017, 02:49 PM	#46057 (permalink)
Trollheart Born to be mild Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: 404 Not Found Posts: 26,996	Well you can all ignore it but I thought it was a good joke, Chula. (That's the forum equivalent of the Black Spot, right? Endorsement from Trollheart = Death?) __________________ Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

10-04-2017, 05:07 PM	#46060 (permalink)
Frownland SOPHIE FOREVER Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: East of the Southern North American West Posts: 35,541	When you say frownlanded I picture a sad wrestler body slamming someone. __________________ Studies show that when a given norm is changed in the face of the unchanging, the remaining contradictions will parallel the truth. d e a f b o x