My day just started, and my two-year-old son is lying on the bed singing Black Sabbath. This is going to be a great Saturday!

I want to know who chose the terrible lighting in Target dressing rooms. (Want to take a picture of some vaguely attractive piece of clothing you're trying on? TOO BAD!!!) It transforms you into a frightful beast-- a pale, ghastly demon from the bowels of hell with a body that is somehow both bulbous and gaunt, and did I mention pale? They should just turn the dressing rooms into a standalone carnival attraction called Surprise! You're a Monster! and go the whole nine yards with spooky sound effects and all. And if you want to leave the cursed mirror dome you have to fight an animatronic version of yourself who scorns you for your vanity by screaming Jenny Holzer quotes at you in a terrifying metallic monotone.

I know! It's awfully hard to type in this state. I'm going to need a homeopathic tincture of distilled unicorn blood and wormwood essence to remedy this asap.

To Dragons Den!

And the blood of one comely maiden of virtue true.

I don't know how, but somehow that makes you a bad Christian.

Made eye contact with a human being outside of family for the first time this year. Freaky.

Do you live in isolation?

That sucks. Family make the worst eye contact.

Watching a science fiction double feature tonight: The Terminator and Robocop.

Not my day, but Sherri's. She and my new son-in-law get to the airport to start an 18 day honeymoon in Greece. Everything's been booked for months. They go to check in and are denied access to the plane.

Come to find out that travel to Greece requires that your passport be valid for at least 6 months. Sherri's expires in 3. WHAM!

She needs to try and get an expedited renewal and then they hope to leave next Wednesday. All in all this is going to cost them both about an extra $5 grand. Ouch.